SINGAPORE: When it comes to relationships, everyone has a clear idea of what they’re looking for—kindness, ambition, humour, and perhaps a mutual fondness for late-night snacks.
However, there are also aspects we cannot overlook. These are the dealbreakers—the warning signs that cause us to reconsider. Recently, young Singaporeans took to Reddit to express their views on what they see as the key dealbreakers in relationships.
Poor hygiene
Several Singaporeans shared that poor hygiene is a major turnoff for them. “I don’t know, but for me, it’s just bad… Very bad, especially if the smell is bad. I cannot stand poor hygiene,” one individual said.
It might sound harsh, but it turns out they’re not alone. A 2023 study published in the academic journal Personality and Individual Differences found that hygiene issues rank among the top six dealbreakers for many people.
Psychologist Zsofia Csajbok, the study’s lead author, explained that bad smells like body odour or bad breath trigger an instinctive reaction in our brains. We link them with being unhealthy, which naturally makes us feel uncomfortable and turned off.
Having kids
For some, discovering that a partner wants to have kids can be a dealbreaker. One individual admitted, “I don’t want kids; this will be an issue no matter what, so we aren’t suitable.”
Another said, “I probably wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants kids and plans to stay in Singapore.” A CNA-YouGov survey found that many Singaporeans are reluctant to have children because ‘they feel they cannot afford it.’
Other reasons include ‘not wanting to be a parent or a dislike for children,’ the impact parenthood might have on careers and lifestyle, being too young or too old to raise a child, and concerns about living conditions in Singapore.
Some also worry about global overpopulation, climate change, health issues, or the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth.
Financial irresponsibility
Another dealbreaker that stood out in the discussion was financial irresponsibility. Many individuals expressed concerns about partners who exhibit poor financial habits, such as excessive spending or a lack of planning for the future.
One individual reflected, “I’ve seen many of my friends (mostly NSFs) go from living decent lives with their monthly allowance to suddenly being unable to afford the lifestyle they once had before getting a girlfriend.
Most men only experience unconditional love from their parents, and that’s the sad reality I often remind myself of.
I’ve never dated before, but from the stories I’ve heard and some past experiences, I’ve learned enough to be more cautious. As a result, I’ve personally decided to wait until university, where (hopefully) the girls are more mature and have reasonable expectations from a student.”
A study by MoneySmart found that 27% of Singaporeans have broken up because of money problems. In Hong Kong, the number is even higher, with 34% saying financial issues led to their breakup.
The main reason was overspending, with 43% of people in both cities saying this caused the split. Other reasons included differences in saving habits (37%) and not saving enough (32%).
Other reasons
Excessive drinking or partying is another dealbreaker for some, especially when it starts to affect their behaviour or priorities in a relationship.
One person noted they couldn’t date someone who smokes, drinks excessively, or gambles frequently. Another commented, “Smoking/Vaping. I’m asthmatic and a pneumonia survivor.”
A few others mentioned that they find it difficult to be with someone who exhibits certain negative behaviours, like being unable to communicate their problems effectively or being rude to service staff.
One individual shared, “Service staff are more prone to poor treatment. I had a short stint working in supermarkets during my semester break, and it was quite eye-opening how mean people can become once you put on the apron/hairnet combo.
Those that worked retail or waiting probably have it worse, though.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)