Foreign woman with 2 y/o daughter says her S’porean husband cheated on her again, but she can’t leave him because she can’t even afford rent
SINGAPORE: A foreign woman was absolutely gutted after finding out her Singaporean husband had cheated on her once again.
She shared on the r/askSingapore Reddit forum on Saturday (Apr 5) that her husband had been unfaithful multiple times in the past, even during her pregnancy. “I kept forgiving him, hoping he would change, but he didn’t,” she said, her words heavy with the pain of repeated betrayals.
This time, however, was a bit different. The woman wrote that she found a “video proof” of her husband cheating on her with a masseuse, which she said made her realize that forgiving her husband only encouraged him to make this mistake over and over again and take her for granted.
She also mentioned that she now wants to divorce her husband but feels uncertain about how to move forward. Her main concern is her young daughter, who’s under 2 years old, and they are currently living in her husband’s parents’ home since they are still waiting for their BTO flat.
“I can’t afford to rent an HDB flat on my own. My rental budget is only $1,000 per month,” she said.
Seeking advice, she asked the Reddit community, “As a foreigner going through this kind of situation, what would you do if you were in my place? Should I get divorced and buy an HDB with my daughter? I am a Singapore PR.”
“This man will not change his ways…”
Singaporean Redditors were quick to give their opinions on the situation, with many urging her to walk out of the marriage and seek help from different organizations.
“Get a divorce. Visit your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC) and speak to the social worker to see what kind of help they can give you. This man will not change his ways. He doesn’t care about you or your daughter,” one comment read.
“I am sorry, but you are really too generous. Look, there is a limit to forgiveness, and it takes courage to say, “Enough, this must stop. As others said, go see FSC and follow their advice. Some community centres also offer free legal advice (not sure which ward you live in),” another wrote.
“If you continue to stay, your daughter will watch and learn that she should stay in a relationship even if her future partner disrespects her,” a third remarked.
“Going back to your home country is the best if you don’t have your own source of income. Singapore is too expensive if you’re not a rich PRC, rich Malaysian, rich Indonesian, or rich anything,” a fourth suggested.
Where to seek help
If you’re going through marital issues, Family Service Centres (FSCs) can be a great place to turn for help. Their counsellors offer support and guidance to help you work through whatever challenges you’re facing, whether it’s relationship problems, parenting struggles, or just needing someone to talk to. It’s a safe space to get practical advice and emotional support.
On top of that, there’s also the Online Counselling on Family Assist (OCFA) program, which is a joint effort between the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), Strengthening Families Programme centres (FAM@FSC centres), and the Community Psychology Hub (CPH).
This program is designed to help with various family-related issues, including pre-marital and marital challenges, parenting concerns, divorce, and anything else that impacts family life.
Who can use OCFA?
OCFA is available to Singapore citizens, permanent residents, and non-residents with a Singapore connection, and it’s open to people aged 18 and above. You can access it through live chat, audio calls, or email, so it’s flexible and convenient.
Moreover, the service runs Monday to Friday from 9 am to 6 pm (excluding public holidays), and on the eve of New Year, Chinese New Year, and Christmas, it’s available from 9 am to 1 pm.
Those interested can sign up for this service here.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)