SINGAPORE: Amidst a record low birth rate, individuals in their late 20s are increasingly feeling pressured to decide whether or not to have children, including a 28-year-old woman from Singapore.
Sharing her dilemma on r/SingaporeRaw, the woman wrote, “Everyday I sit on the fence, rocking back and forth whether or not I want children. I need to decide now. Maternal instincts have kicked in and my biological clock is counting down. I want healthy children so it’s a ‘decide now or never’ situation.”
Despite having found the ideal husband and desiring a sense of fulfillment to combat the emptiness of her daily routine and corporate job, she also believes it’s selfish to bring a child into a world filled with endless problems and crises.
For instance, she cited “global warming” as a significant hurdle that will prevent her child from having a bright future. Although many people dismiss this, thinking “it’s still very far away,” she considers it a real threat and worries that the average temperature will rise another 1.5 degrees Celsius by 2030.
“Why would I want to bring a human into a dying world?” she asked.
Another concern of hers is that Singaporeans are no longer protected in terms of employment. While the cost of living has been increasing exponentially, the majority of locals’ salaries have remained stagnant, failing to keep pace with the inflation and increased living costs.
This economic disparity, she explained, is causing many Singaporeans to feel financially strained and progressively poorer each day.
She also highlighted that locals are now facing discrimination in the workplace due to their higher salary expectations compared to foreign workers.
“Every HR thinks we expect a high salary and they’d rather hire some Malaysian worker that’s willing to take half of our expected pay. Why can they take lower pay? Because their house wherever they live is cheaper and they won’t need to buy our million dollar hdb flats.”
“Singaporeans are already suffering from this open discrimination in the workplace, are we really going to subject our children to the same treatment?”
Lastly, she worries that if she does bring a child into the world, she may not even have the opportunity to care for the baby due to the impracticality of sustaining a single-income household in the face of high living expenses.
If both parents need to work, she and her husband would either need to rely on their parents to care for the child or hire a maid.
“All that work and sacrifice for a kid who will call the maid ‘mummy’? Why just why. If I want to be a mother, I would want to ownself take care of my own kid. Plus all the stories of the maids beating their employees’ kids really scare me like I cannot trust anyone but myself.”
“28 is still very young.”
In the discussion thread, several women acknowledged that they, too, are hesitant about bringing a child into the world. The key difference is that they do not experience the same ‘maternal instinct’ as the 28-year-old. They then suggested several ways to assist her in determining whether motherhood is truly something she desires.
One woman said, “Ask yourself whether 10 years down the road, will the regret of having kids outweigh the regret of not having kids?”
Another advised her to discuss things over with her husband, adding, “From anecdotes which concur with my view: if it’s not 100% YES from both of you, it’s a 100% NO. Sure, you will love the kid but you might end up resenting and disliking them. Love and like are separate things.”
A third chimed in and asked her, “Are you and spouse happy people? Are you both content with life and want to share it with another? If the answer is yes, then consider having a child. But if you get worried about the UV levels increasing and single digit inflation, don’t.”
Others, meanwhile, offered comforting words and told her that she still has plenty of time to think about her decision.
One individual commented, “28 is still very young. Perhaps things will change down the road as your job becomes more stable? I have many colleagues (females) that are having kids only at 40 and so far all the kids turned out healthy.”
Some also encouraged her not to let concerns about global warming deter her from having children. According to one individual, she should give her kids a fighting chance to reverse the situation or coexist.
They also expressed optimism that future technological advancements would provide solutions to protect future generations from the adverse impacts of climate change.
Featured image by Depositphotos