SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to share that she was stumped when her boyfriend asked for a ridiculously expensive gift for his birthday: a fancy, luxury shirt that costs S$800.
Sharing the full story on r/sgdatingscene, the woman explained that after they went on a date in the Orchard area, where her boyfriend was eager to explore high-end luxury fashion brands, he told her he wanted a specific shirt costing around S$800 as a birthday present.
“His birthday is in a few months from now. Separately, he wants another shirt that costs S$1700 as a present for our anniversary next year,” she wrote.
“He also said, ‘If you get me the S$1700 item, I’ll be loyal to you forever.’ Implying that he’d cheat or leave me if I didn’t get it for him? I’m not sure how to take that.”
When she asked her boyfriend what he would get her for her birthday and their anniversary in return, he merely told her, “I don’t know what you like or what I could get you that you can’t get for yourself.”
Admittedly, this response made her feel like he wasn’t genuinely interested in her and was more focused on receiving gifts than giving them.
“I repeatedly said that I cared more about the thought behind the gift rather than its monetary value, but I don’t know how much that sank in,” she said.
Things got more complicated when he asked about her finances.
“I stupidly told him. Rounded to the nearest 10k, but he still has an approximate idea of how much I have. Major regret!” she said..
“I also clarified that my free cash was actually much lower, because I’m also saving for a HDB, which if we’re still together by the time I can close the deal, he’ll be welcome to move into, and he knows this.”
Given the current job market and her own unemployment status, she explained she wasn’t in a position to spend $800 on a luxury item. However, instead of being understanding, her boyfriend pulled away, kept his distance, and even cried while they were on public transport.
Though she considered that a long day might have contributed to his reaction, she still felt it wasn’t an excuse.
Later on, he questioned why she wouldn’t commit to buying him the gift despite having the means.
She explained that her financial choices were her own and that she was preparing for a potential extended period of unemployment. His response was, “I believe that you’ll be able to find a job but now you don’t want me to believe in you. I have no choice but to accept it.”
She felt manipulated by this statement. Ultimately, she told him that if he needed a definite answer, her response was “no” for now, but she might reconsider if she had the money available by his birthday.
“Evidently that was the wrong answer, because his mood soured further,” she lamented.
In addition to the shirt, the woman said that he also wanted a new phone, a higher-end model costing over $1000, which he claimed he needed for gaming.
Considering his current situation as a student with limited earning opportunities, she suggested looking at second-hand phones.
“He flatly refused, saying he wanted it new so he could take good care of it from day 1. I promised that I’d put some money to his phone, but didn’t want to commit to a specific sum,” she said.
“He says that he really likes me, and if he were really with me only for my money, he would choose someone else hotter, richer, and more willing to buy him things. Can someone tell me where the BS is in that statement? It doesn’t add up to me but I have trouble expressing why.”
‘A relationship that is built on money is not meant to last’
In the comments section, many Singaporean Redditors advised the woman to take a step back and reassess her relationship. They pointed out that her boyfriend’s behaviour seemed self-centred and manipulative, especially with his high demands and emotional reactions.
They also emphasized that a healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect and understanding, rather than on material demands and conditional loyalty. They suggested that his focus on expensive gifts and his attempts to guilt her into spending were red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
One Redditor said, “Man that’s hyper manipulative as hell. A S$1700 shirt? That’s like a 10-day holiday in Japan (with flight tickets included, found one at 445sgd for a round trip), the things he wants is just hyper materialistic as hell regardless.
“Seems like he enjoys acting rich more than putting the effort to afford his own lifestyle.”
Another commented, “The fact that he is pointing out expensive items knowing that you are unemployed is a major red flag. My advice, get out of this unbalanced relationship.”
A third Redditor stated, “A relationship that is built on money is not meant to last. If someone else can provide those $$$ value to him, he will not hesitate to leave you. You’re there right now to fulfil his selfish needs because no one else can provide him.”
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