SINGAPORE: A young woman struggling to form a romantic connection recently took to social media to ask Singaporeans “how important looks are when it comes to relationships or dating.”
In a candid post on r/SGexams on Saturday (April 20), she revealed her current dating dilemma, lamenting that despite her best efforts to connect with guys romantically, her advances have received nothing more than friendly responses, relegating her to the role of a mere friend.
She suspected that this may be because ‘she did not fit conventional beauty standards.’
Thus, she’s been going all out to spruce up her appearance—regular grooming, dressing to impress, staying fit, and even dabbling in makeup. But even with all that, the young woman shared that she’s not seeing any change in her romantic luck.
According to her, there’s never been a spark of romantic tension in her relationships with guys. To make matters worse, a male friend recently told her she’s got this vibe that keeps her firmly in the friend zone, no matter what she does.
She wrote she’s even “flirty, and I banter…
… but why am i always one of the guys? I know a lot would say personality > looks and while that is true, most people won’t want to get to know someone for their personality if they are not interested in their looks in the first place.”
“Like if its not because of my personality, then it has to be my looks, right? (but how can I improve more because I think any further improvements need plastic surgery level alr leh… ”
“Physical attractiveness is one thing. But in the long run it wears off, especially when you’re hitting your 50s”
In the comments section, Singaporean Redditors engaged in a lively discussion about the role of looks in dating. Many shared personal experiences and insights, agreeing that physical appearance plays a major role in relationships.
One Redditor voiced a rather blunt perspective, stating, “I say looks is way more important than personality when it comes to dating. Have you ever heard a girl say this to you? ‘Wow I hope to find a guy like you’.
Yeah what she meant is i like your personality but your looks just ain’t my taste.
There are only so much you can do to enhance your looks like proper fitness, hygiene, fashion, etc but ultimately you will still lose to someone who is born naturally handsome.”
Another Redditor echoed this sentiment, writing, “Looks is everything. And im not saying that bc im bitter or whatever. Its based on evidence.
Men from 13-30 that i know always wanted to date chiobu. Their definition of what is considered pretty may vary but whatever it still has to meet their personal threshold of beauty.”
However, the conversation quickly shifted towards the longevity and depth of relationships.
Some Redditors emphasized that while looks may initially draw people together, what truly sustains a relationship is the personality of the individuals involved.
One Redditor said, “Physical attractiveness is one thing. But in the long run it wears off, especially when you’re hitting your 50s. I say personality does play a huge part, more so than looks, in keeping the relationship of course.
So OP, don’t worry. I believe you’ll definitely find someone. Some girls like guys for their personalities too. I believe you’ll find your own SO one day. I’ll be supporting u from the shadows.”
A few, meanwhile, believe that both looks and personality are equally important factors in choosing a partner.
One Redditor said, “For me it’s 50/50. Of course the other party must look nice, that’s half the battle, but if he’s rude or mean to like my friends or impolite, then obviously not.”