SINGAPORE: In a recent post on social media, user DependendSpecific206 sparked a discussion as he stated, “You could be DINK (dual income no kids), DINKWAP (dual income no kids with a pet), you could be single, etc. Regardless of your situation/status, what made you choose not to have kids? And at what age were you 100% firm on that decision and never looked back?” The post attracted various responses, shedding light on the diverse reasons individuals choose to remain child-free. So, are there cons of not having kids?
NinjaCutOnions stated, “Too much free time.” Mewiee added, “Too much disposable income,” noting the financial freedom that comes with not having the financial responsibilities of raising children. I_love_pillows chimed in with, “Too much freedom to take career breaks.” Ok_Pomegranate634 noted, “too many holidays,” expressing the opportunity to indulge in vacations without parenting concerns.
One Redditor, runesplease, proudly identified as a DICKWAD (Double Income Considering Kids With A Dog). He shared, ” No cons really, I don’t have to spend money on kids. I don’t really like to spend money so I end up having to think of what to do with it. Will just end up upgrading property like every other Singaporeans.”
Asian_Scion, married for 25 years without kids, painted a positive picture of the childfree life, stating, “I have yet to see any downside to this decision. Can go anywhere I want and buy anything I want (well within reason). Almost 50 and no white/gray hair or wrinkles. Still look like I’m 30. Most friend I know with kids looks 10 years older than me (my age or younger). The stress is real!”
However, the discussion took a thoughtful turn with kaikaun, a father of four, who offered a perspective on the transformative nature of choice to have children. He highlighted that decisions about having children go beyond the conventional pros and cons, stating, “The person who makes the choice today is completely different from the person who enjoys or suffers the consequences.” Kaikaun emphasized that parenthood “completely transform your priorities”, self-image, and values, making the old pros and cons not make sense.
Responding to kaikaun, Dinoboy9000, initially a DINK (Dual Income No Kids) for a decade, shared a contrasting experience. He revealed, ” Never wanted kids (climate change, pessimism over the worlds future, value own free time) DINK for a decade.” However, during the COVID-19 pandemic, he and his wife decided to have a child because they thought they had a lot of free time and could spare some.
He noted their challenges, mentioning a perpetual shortage of personal time. He shared they became more grumpy, and had to set aside more expenses to create more “me time” for him and his wife. He further added, “Don’t get me wrong, we love our little one and would give anything to make her happy and we are also so thankful for her everyday, for her love and for her just being. Perhaps it’s just our child that makes it bad for us, can’t sleep well every night, doesn’t eat well and super ADHD. Some of our friends have it very easy. Doesn’t help that we have no grandparents help.”
Redditor Dinoboy9000 shared his candid reflection, “Yes, it’s possible to not want kids, have kids, and still not want kids after.” /TISG