SINGAPORE: An employer going overseas took to social media asking others for advice on how much allowance she should give her helper.

In an anonymous post to a support group for domestic helpers and employers alike, the woman wrote: “I’m going overseas, how much allowance per day I should give my helper so she can buy her lunch and dinner while I’m away”.

In her post, the employer also had another question. She said that her maid had been working for the family for three months and was doing a great job. Since the year-end was approaching, the employer asked if she should give her helper the option of a bonus payment or a holiday trip.

A netizens who commented on her post said, “The best thing to do is buy her foods and groceries before leaving and make sure that its more than enough until you return home it’s more safe for her no need to go out and buy and to avoid unnecessary things to happen like maybe she will talk to strangers or bad people outside.And for the question number 2 some employers they just give Christmas present when the year ends but if you are generous enough and want to appreciate her being good maybe you can consider giving her a bonus:”.

Another netizen suggested that the employer could “buy groceries before leaving for her while you’re away and some money in case there’s emergency $50-$100 depending how long you will be overseas. 2.you can talk to her,is best ask her whether she wants to go home or other things.is all up to you,follow what’s your heart tell you”.

Earlier this year, a domestic helper took to social media asking if the money her employers had given her when they went on holiday was enough. In an anonymous post to a support group for domestic helpers and employers alike, the maid wrote that her employers went back to their home country for about two months. During this time, they left her home alone. “My emp go back to they are (sic) country about 2 months and they only gave me $100 for a month to buy food. I want to know is that enought with $100?” the maid asked.

In another case, a different foreign domestic helper who refused to stay at home alone while her employers went overseas got to go on her own holiday as well. In an anonymous post to Facebook page FDW in Singapore (working conditions forum), the maid’s employer wrote that she and her family had planned to go overseas on a short family trip. However, she added that her helper did not want to stay in their house alone so “we will treat her to a holiday at a place of her interest somewhere else”. She also wrote that she would be giving her maid paid leave and covering the cost of her flight tickets as well. “Any idea if we should also cover her accommodation? This is on top of her fully paid home leave which we have already approved. What is your arrangement for helper when employer goes overseas for holiday?” the woman asked netizens in her post. /TISG

SINGAPORE: A frustrated employer took to social media because she found that while her helper was very useful, the latter had a lot of complaints and would always talk back to her.

In an anonymous post to a support group for domestic helpers and employers alike, the woman said that her maid had worked for her for 10 months. She wanted someone more senior, and her helper had over 20 years of experience. The woman wrote that she had a baby and was a working mother. Her husband would also go on long business trips. The woman explained that she treated her maid like a family member. However, she said her maid had a bad habit of talking back to her.

The woman gave some examples of the comments her helper would make. When she noticed that her maid did not drink coffee, her maid would sulk and comment that she did not buy the coffee even though it finished long ago. The woman also said that when she told her maid to incorporate baby-led weaning, the helper replied that it was too early: “(the child is) Only 10 months. And so messy”.

The woman said that when she told her helper to reduce the amount of formula given to her child so that more breast milk was given, the helper commented that she kept changing the instructions. “Last time ask me feed formula now change. I dunno (sic) what u want”, the helper replied. The woman also said that when she told her maid to reduce the amount of water in her child’s puree, the helper heard her, looked at her, yet continued to blend with too much water. When she asked her maid again, the helper said it was okay because if the puree were too grainy, the child would not like it.

“Seriously her talking back make(s) me powerless as a mom. I never never limit anything except set some “preference” (of) how i want my baby to be taken care of. Everytime i tried talking to her. She will say ok i follow whatever u say. Tell me a b c i (sic) will follow. 2-3 days she take(s) her own charge. Every feedback given to her end up with her being upset”, the woman wrote.

She said she treated her helper very well but felt that her helper would always ruin the mood.

Netizens who commented on the post were divided. Some felt that even the way the employer spoke to her helper was rude.

One said: “To those commenting saying how she said “hey” is rude… just stop. She is just quoting example of how the conversation goes. Not literally how it goes. And no, you helpers don’t get to talk back and blackfaced us. We are your employers. When we give instructions, you take it and implement. If you want us to listen to your suggestion, do it with much decorum as a helper. You don’t have to bow down to us, but a certain amount of respect is needed when communicating with employers. It applies in a professional working environment too. My advice to OP – send her right back. You don’t need the stress. You don’t need to justify if you did any wrong. You don’t need to answer to half of the people here who doesn’t even understand the point of your post here. Ultimately, if they want to be treated like you owe them something, they are welcome to go. Being firm doesn’t mean we are being mean and abusive.”

Another person commented: “You must understand where she was coming from. We are all different in how we communicate. I think you dictated every word that she was saying. It might sound not polite to you, but she might not realise it. I’m guessing. All your helper was trying was to be friendly to you. And you react in different ways. I think it’s all misunderstanding”.  /TISG