SINGAPORE: A man took to social media asking for advice because his parents were pressuring him financially.
In an anonymous post on the confessions page NUSWhispers, the man wrote that despite giving his working parents a monthly allowance, expensive gifts for every festival, and fully paid yearly overseas holidays, they called him useless and unfilial for not earning S$10,000 a month.
“I don’t understand why they treat me like that”, he lamented, adding that he found it impossible to talk to them and explain his situation.
“Whenever I explain to them, they will ask me to go earn more money and say I am useless for not earning 10k a month like other relatives”, he wrote.
He added that he had not taken money from them since junior college, working part-time. His university fees were also covered by a scholarship he won.
Netizens who commented on his post advised the man:
“If they are being unreasonable about their requests/demands, you can always move out and rent a room. Continue giving them an amount you can afford. Then, lead your own life.
But be prepared to be estranged and not be included in any inheritance should they decide to cut you off the will,” said one, to which another responded with:
“Peace and happiness are worth much more than years of abuse, depression and being starved from social connections to get the ‘inheritance’ which can suddenly become charitable funds to outsiders.”
“Don’t care, bro. Your money, your say. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing things that you don’t want. Just explain once or twice nicely to them; if they still don’t get it, then just smile and walk away, don’t explain anymore since it shows that they don’t get it.
Work hard, save up, and pursue your dreams, but still do your best to take care of your parents. $500 is ok, better than nothing. If anything more strains you, then don’t do it. You need to take care of yourself too. All the best, bro,” a piece of advice was given by a commenter.
“Are u still staying in their house? My mom used to be like that, too. But ever since I moved out of their house (married) and had my own kids, my mom has stopped asking for more allowances.
Also, thanks to my dad for telling her I now have higher expenses to care for (this kind of thing, 3rd party say easier). Earnings-wise, your parents also have a point. Earning more money is indeed the way to go in the long run (of coz, using the word ‘useless’ is uncalled for la).
Before, while staying at my parents’ house, I earned $4K+ and gave them $600. Of course not enough la, but my dad also encouraged me to earn more money. Now my earnings double liao, really more relaxed, not so uptight anymore.
PS: don’t buy a car if you are not earning above $10K,” one netizen shared her story.
“Toxic parents are real,” another netizen exclaimed.
“Not the first post about horrible parents. We didn’t ask to be born, and it’s your job to take care of your children. Everything is so expensive now, and it is no wonder fewer people want to have kids these days. Have to take care of their ageing parents and their demands.
Where got time for kids?” one more chimed in to share their frustration.
“Time to move out. You’ve got a life. Don’t let them guilt-trip you. You can still send them money by paynow. Be independent. You can rent a place of your own or even get your own HDB if you are of age. Materialism – the bane of society. Live simply so that they have nothing to say.
Be prepared to reduce or cut ties if they demand beyond what you can afford to give,” yet another netizen advised the man.
In other news, earlier this year, a woman also took to social media, frustrated with her parents’ favouritism for her younger sister.
In an anonymous post to the popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that when she was five, her mother was pregnant with her sister. At one point, she said:
“I threw a tantrum. I can’t remember the details, but I fell from the sofa, and it ended up with both my mother and me going to the hospital and my sister being born premature (7 months).
She stayed in the ICU for weeks. From then on, I was being reminded by my parents of my ‘evilness’.”
She added that when her sister was three months old and contracted the flu, it affected her brain. Even this was blamed on the woman because “it’s the premature (sic) that caused her to be weaker hence a small fever affected her brain.
(She became a slower learner and needed to attend special school).”
“I usually wear what my cousins passed down while my sisters get to shop and buy clothes. I get only $5 as pocket money (for recess and lunch), while my sister gets $7. My sisters get to spend their angbao money while I have to give all of them back.
Even my maid is allowed to neglect me, but she never did; instead, she is the only one who cares about me”, the woman lamented.
Read related: Woman says her parents always preferred her sister; they demanded she give $300 of her salary to them and $200 to her sister
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