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“My domestic helper is a black hole” — Employer laments as their maid eats up all their food

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SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media to share that their maid has been depleting their household resources quickly.

In a post on r/askSingapore on Friday (July 5), she explained that their helper has been great in cleaning, helping around the house, and respecting their privacy, but there was just one problem: their household food supplies would disappear in no time.

“My domestic helper is a black hole. When we buy groceries, which are meant to feed 3 people (father, helper and me), she finishes them so fast,” the employer wrote. 

“She cooks for herself, but it’s like she’s cooking for a whole family. She also makes 3 potatoes for one person,” the employer added.

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Moreover, the employer mentioned that their helper would open their food, or anything she sees, without permission and eat it without leaving some for them. 

For instance, when the employer’s father bought two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, each a standard size of 473 ml, their helper finished all of it herself.

“I didn’t even have a chance to open the plastic seal that was on it,” the employer said.

The employer also bought one more tub, hoping to get a taste of it this time. However, to her dismay, within just three days, the entire tub vanished once more.

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“It was gone. Whole tub. No evidence left behind. My dad clearly didn’t eat because he’s barely home and he eats out on a daily. so… I mean, the only other person who’s constantly eating is… the helper.”

“There were also 2 packets of tim tams (chocolate biscuits). 11 biscuits per packet.. it was newly bought and within a few days, 11 big chocolate biscuits were finished by her, 22 biscuits gone… without us even opening it ourselves to even eat it.”

“The amount of food she eats from the fridge, dry pantry, freezer, cupboards and all, is insane.. but I don’t want my dad and I to be one of those employers who dictate what the helper eats or not…”

While she understands it’s a basic need and that everyone deserves to indulge in sweets and luxuries occasionally, she couldn’t help but feel concerned that their helper consumes their food before they even get the chance to open the packets.

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“Nothing is going to change unless you speak to her.”

In the comments section, the netizens urged her to take some action and set some ground rules for food consumption.

One netizen suggested communicating clearly with the helper about which snacks and treats are off-limits while ensuring she’s free to enjoy as much food as she needs for three meals. 

She added, “Nothing is going to change unless you speak to her. She cannot magically know your frustrations. Just sit down and only speak factually.

Don’t bring emotions into it and keep your tone neutral during the conversation. Change will only happen if the situation is addressed,” she added.

Another netizen shared that their helper consumes three times the rice their 4-adult household collectively does.

Despite this, they allow her to eat as much as she needs because they understand that physical labour requires more food and energy.

She said, “On the one hand, laborers will (and should) plow through carbs at a faster rate, but on the other, boundaries must be drawn. 

Surely there’s a way to communicate to her that her appetite can be accommodated, but she should leave some of these snacks for their intended recipients.”

Others also speculated that her helper might not be used to these treats and might also have a food scarcity mindset. 

If such is the case, they advised the employer to have an open conversation with her maid or do the groceries weekly with her. They also recommended creating a special stash of snacks just for the maid.

One netizen said, “I’ve come across some helpers who have been treated really appallingly and have never had access to proper food and treats/snacks. Please be kind to her and set reasonable expectations.”

Read also: Employer told their helper she wouldn’t receive her June salary if she couldn’t accompany them on their trip to Malaysia

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