SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man took to social media to vent about his father repeatedly asking him and his sister for money—this time, to give out angbaos during Chinese New Year (CNY) to ‘save face’ in front of relatives.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum, the man shared that every Chinese New Year, his father insists on playing the role of a generous elder despite having no money.
“[He’s in] his early 60s. He is poorer than a beggar but still wants to be like a good uncle who gives out angbaos to relatives. He still wants face,” the man wrote. “This Chinese New Year, he say[s] borrow S$1k, he will pay back. But we know he won’t pay back.”
The man explained that his father earns a monthly income from his part-time job, working four to five hours a day, five days a week. His sister also gives him an allowance to help cover some of his daily expenses.
He added that his father does not contribute to household expenses, including housing, utilities, or insurance. Yet, despite having an income, an allowance, and no major financial commitments, his father still struggles to manage his money.
“In actual fact, he is penniless, with zero savings. He smokes a pack of cigs a day,” he said. “Actually, I find it quite hard to believe someone without any commitments, unable to feed himself.”
Looking for reassurance, he turned to the online community, asking if anyone else had parents who constantly asked for money despite already receiving an allowance. “Please share your story of your useless dad or mum, so I know I’m not alone,” he added.
“It’s not very fair to say he is useless”
In the comments section, several Singaporean Redditors criticized the man for referring to his father as “useless” and encouraged him to be more empathetic toward his situation.
One Redditor said, “If they have seen you through college and paying for all your fee[s], they have done their dues and are not useless. Since you are working, are you paying your parents rental for the room, or should you move out so they can rent it out for money instead of complaining they are taking money from you?”
Another commented, “I don’t know the full context, but if he and your mum have brought you up successfully and taught you important values, then it’s not very fair to say he is useless. I understand that maybe smoking a pack of cigs a day can be viewed as a waste of money, but quitting is difficult, and maybe he needs some help in that area first to have some additional pocket money.”
A third empathized with his father, writing, “I can imagine his pain. Basically, the Asian face culture. He can bow down a bit to you asking for money but has to show a face to the extended family.”
Others, however, were less forgiving and felt that the man’s frustration was understandable, given the circumstances. One Redditor asked the man, “Are you able to cut him off forever? Don’t let him even know your address or phone number.”
Another advised the man to give an ultimatum, “Tell them it’s the last time I raise this. I’m not your retirement option. Repeat twice, then go cold without talking to them [for] 5 years, including no CNY contacts. If you are soft, then continue paying them.”
In other news, a 25-year-old woman took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for refusing to visit her boyfriend’s parents for Chinese New Year (CNY) this year, all because she received an incredibly small angbao from them last year.
In a post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, she explained that she’s always made an effort to show appreciation for his family. She regularly sends gifts to their home after overseas trips and gives them thoughtful presents during festive seasons, including CNY.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)