SINGAPORE — A man took to social media ranting about a toxic and controlling relationship he had with his girlfriend who did not allow him to talk to other females or even go out with his own friends unless she approved of them.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that he was in a 3-year relationship with her in his 30s. “She was controlling, demanding and overall a toxic person. It was rather strange because she wasn’t like this before we became official”, he wrote.
Once they got together, the man wrote that she insisted he not speak to any females, even if it was for work. He added that he complied, which affected his social skills making him very awkward and reclusive. During the course of their relationship, he wrote that she also forbade him from meeting his friends as she deemed them to be “bad influences”. She only allowed him to meet friends she approved of.
“Even so, she would regularly call or text during this period of time. It was a must to reply her messages. If not, there will be a barrage of calls. It has gone to the point where I just stopped meeting any of my friends. For context, most of my friends are guys and I barely hangout with any females”, the man wrote.
In addition to everything else, the woman did not allow the man to have any hobbies. He explained that his hobbies were cooking, gaming and nature photography. Despite this, she made him delete his personal and photography Instagram pages.
“One thing that really got to me was how she hates and criticises my family. She often complains about how my family are just very rude in general. My family barely meets her let alone speaking to her. I really don’t know where she’s getting that from. She even went to the point of telling me no wonder my siblings have no friends at all since they are so rude”, the man wrote.
He added that during the course of their relationship, he tried breaking up with her multiple times, but her toxic traits and emotional abuse made it difficult for him to do so.
He told netizens that while he was glad the relationship was over, he did not know what went wrong on his part. “With both the physical and mental scars, I really don’t know how I am or when will I be ready to date again”, he added.
Here’s what netizens responded to his post:
Last year, a divorced woman in her mid-30s took to social media, asking netizens for advice on whether she was in a toxic relationship.
In an anonymous post on popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that she had been with her partner for the past four years. He is a decade older than her, and both of them are divorced with a child each.
“We have no plans to get hitched again given our age and past bad marriage experience hence our thoughts are quite aligned when it comes to our relationship; since we are only seeking for companionship ultimately”, the woman wrote.
However, she added that with her partner, everyone felt he was mild-mannered as he was easy-going and smiled around her friends. “However whenever he is with me or his family, he’ll portray (sic_ his real self; a self-centered and quick tempered guy. He gets annoyed whenever things doesn’t go his way”, the woman wrote.
While he had never been physically abusive towards her, and he had promised to change, the woman wrote that her partner had never improved his behaviour.
Because marriage was not in their cards, the woman always let him be and would never pursue the issue.
She asked netizens if she was wrong for having such a mindset or if her relationship was a toxic one that she had failed to see.
“Sadly, nobody believed me whenever I confided in my friends after fights/quarrels since he’s always a nice and easygoing chap during all the outings and gatherings. He had moved in with me recently and im beginning to think if this is the right direction that our relationship should be heading to. For context, both of us are financially independent and comfortable with our current lifestyle”, the woman wrote.