SINGAPORE: A man recently confessed on social media that he has grown tired of financially supporting his single parent.
Posting anonymously on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, he revealed that, that apart from providing a generous allowance, he also covers all household expenses, such as groceries, meals, and outings. Additionally, he takes care of about 70% of the household chores.
“For context, I’m an only child in my late 20s, have been very financially independent since I was 18; pretty much settled my college fees myself and have been financially providing for my single parent since I graduated,” he wrote.
“At the risk of sounding unfilial, I’m starting to recognise I’ve grown resentful of our situation.”
He also expressed that his parent never considered him or gifted him a birthday present, nor did they ever cover expenses during their outings. Each outing typically cost around $150, and shopping expenses ranged from $200-$300, all of which he solely paid for.
“I usually give $1000+ for CNY & extra money for house decorations and this year, they got extremely upset when I ended up cutting back.”
Although he acknowledged that his parent raised him in his younger years, he couldn’t help but feel quite upset about the state of his finances right now. He said:
“Even though I’m still giving them an allowance, I’m starting to draw the line now and asking for them to go dutch / pay for their own purchases and they’ve expressed a lot of anger and frustration at this.
“I don’t know what are healthy boundaries to set, neither do I know how to explain to them that I feel resentment. It would be great to get some advice from everyone.”
“You are not wrong at all. You are a good child.”
In the comments section, some netizens supported the man’s decision to cut back on his financial contributions, saying that they understood how tough it is to support a parent financially while also trying to keep your own finances in check.
They also advised him to prioritize his own financial stability and set clear boundaries with his parent.
One netizen offered practical advice, proposing that he discuss household expenses with his parent to find a mutually agreeable solution that would allow him to save more effectively. He added, “I’m sure any parents will be willing to compromise for their child.”
Another added, “You are not wrong at all. You are a good child. Some parents here do understand how you feel. Living costs are high, if your parents are still strong and working, give less and don’t feel guilty. It is ok.”
On the other hand, others criticized him for expecting repayment and for not showing enough appreciation towards his parent.
One netizen commented, “Once kids are independent, they will start blaming their parents for being a burden….The fact that you are waiting for them to pay you back shows that you treat them more like a friend than your own parent.”
Another chimed in and said, “Do not let money guide your life, let your genuine love and concern be the center of you as they are the only ones left in your life.
Remember your children will also learn how you treat your parents. If you want to calculate like most Singaporeans, then get ready to sour and end.”
Read also: Parents who expect financial support from children earn criticism online
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