SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to share that her retired mum’s incessant cleaning around the house has disrupted the family’s daily activities. Seeking assistance from her fellow Singaporeans, she asked:
“How do i find her smthg to do so that she would stop this madness? Can i just call her old boss n make him convince her to work again?”
The woman shared that when her mom stopped working a year ago, they all thought it would be good for her since she could finally rest or do what she always wanted.
However, rather than indulging in these pursuits, the woman said that her mum turned all her attention and time to excessively cleaning and rearranging things around the house, causing concern for the entire family.
“She refuses to let anyone cook in the morning and at night, as she will deep clean the stove and sink. She will also randomly take out stuff from the cabinets, rearrange them, and clean them,” the woman elaborated.
“Recently, she has started to go into my siblings and my room, clean, and rearrange them to what she thinks is nice.”
The woman said none were happy since they each had their own way of doing things. Things especially became bothersome when her mum saw that she had an extra space in her wardrobe and decided that the whole family should use it.
“Not working is like a death sentence for some people”
Many Singaporean Redditors suggested that the woman enroll her mum in activities to give her something more fulfilling than just cleaning the house.
They mentioned options such as applying for a job at McDonald’s, working at daycare centres, or volunteering at a nearby nursing home or elderly centre.
They believe this could encourage her to spend time outside and find a sense of purpose, channelling her energy into something meaningful.
One individual said, “If your mum doesn’t want to work anymore, perhaps she can try those cheap cc activities instead. My mum started taking up random courses & activities like baking, pickleball and crochet.
The commitment is just 2-3 hours each day, not physically strenuous, and she seems to be having a lot of fun. Maybe you can convince your mum to go with her friends also? She can have fun and you can keep her out of your space!”
Another commented, “Not working is like a death sentence for some people. Not working may mean literally no social circle and nothing to do.
I actually got my mum to go work again because she felt so much better and happier working compared to staying at home.”
One individual added, “Even watching dramas can be a good way to occupy her time if she doesn’t like volunteering/community work like others suggested.
Try exploring with her what other stuff she may enjoy doing and keep introducing new stuff for her to try. Find some friends who are at the same life stage and are able to keep her accompanied.”
Ways to help your parents
Research shows that retirees are susceptible to depression, particularly if their identity and sense of purpose are strongly associated with their line of work. Additionally, anxiety is a common issue among retirees, as noted by the World Health Organization (WHO).
This is why showing support and being there for your parents after they retire is important. To help them in this transition period, Psych Central recommends following the steps below:
Help them adjust to their new lifestyle. Experts say that instead of abruptly shifting from full-time employment to complete retirement, a gradual transition by scaling down work allows individuals time to adjust to a new lifestyle.
You can assist your parents in finding part-time employment, as suggested by Singaporeans above, or enrol them in a mentorship program so that they can remain active in their profession.
Help plan their schedule. People who are retired sometimes get restless because they miss the disciplined schedule they had while working. You may help your parents deal with this by suggesting they make a daily calendar or routine to keep them occupied.
Also, recommend some activities to fill their time. This could be as simple as watching dramas, hanging out with their friends at the mall, shopping, doing housework, attending lectures, volunteering, etc.
The most important thing here is to help them remain active.
Set goals. Help your parents regain their sense of purpose lost in retirement by encouraging them to set goals. A cohort study found that setting goals can improve their physical and mental health and overall quality of life.
Read also: Daughter says, “My mum always shuts us down by saying, ‘Don’t worry, God will help us’” with money
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