Photo: Freepik (for illustration purposes only)
Employer says most maids get defensive after breaking or losing something instead of just saying, ‘It’s my fault, I’m sorry’
SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media to express her frustrations about what she perceives as a lack of accountability from some domestic helpers.
Posting anonymously in the MDW in Singapore Facebook group on Thursday (April 10), she asked her fellow employers, “Has any employer here ever heard their nanny humbly say, ‘It’s my fault, I’m sorry, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again’?”
She then added that those who have experienced such honesty are “very lucky,” as it’s not something she often encounters.
According to her, when something is accidentally broken or misplaced in the house, many helpers tend to become defensive or shift the blame, sometimes even to innocent children. “Is it really that difficult to own up to a mistake?” she asked, expressing disappointment at the apparent avoidance of responsibility.
“Sometimes they don’t tell you because they’re scared…”
The post drew mixed reactions. Some employers shared similar experiences, noting how frustrating it can be when no one is willing to admit fault.
One recalled, “My first helper had a big ego. She was very defensive when she did something wrong—she would talk back to defend herself, throw tantrums, cry, beat her chest and head, and vent her emotions on my mum. After five years, I sent her home as she was giving both me and my second helper anxiety.”
Another stated, “Agree with you. I just call her out. Lol. It pisses me off when she pushes the blame onto my child.”
Others, however, pointed out that some helpers may simply be afraid of the consequences of admitting to a mistake. One netizen said, “Sometimes they don’t tell you because they’re scared you’ll scold them or ask them to pay for what they broke.”
Some maids also joined the conversation to clarify that the behaviour described doesn’t apply to all domestic workers. Several shared that they do take responsibility when they make mistakes, but there are times when they’re unfairly blamed for things that weren’t their fault because their employer refuses to believe otherwise.
A few added that even when they admit their mistake and apologise, it’s still not enough. One shared, “I’m doing it, but unfortunately, my boss doesn’t accept ‘sorry.’ She gets fierce and talks rudely and loudly. She doesn’t listen or accept my apology. It’s mental torture, especially when all she knows is how to blame her mistakes on me.”
As per the Ministry of Manpower (MoM), if an issue arises due to misunderstandings or differing expectations, employers are encouraged to first attempt to resolve it directly with their helper.
Furthermore, MoM recommends that employers refrain from taking matters into their own hands by enforcing penalties, even when there is suspicion of misconduct. Any criminal concerns should be reported to the appropriate authorities.
Read also: Man devastated as ‘newlywed wife of 8 months cheated on him with a guy she found on a mobile game’
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
