Employer says 67 y/o father is having an affair with her 38 y/o maid: ‘I feel angry, betrayed, and upset by my dad’

SINGAPORE: An exasperated employer has shared that her 67-year-old father is having an affair with her 38-year-old domestic helper. The revelation has shocked the internet, with many netizens urging her to send the helper home.

In a post on the r/SingaporeR forum on Wednesday (Sep 14), the employer explained that she had hired the helper for her 4-year-old child:

“I hired a helper to care for my child. Because I work shift hours, I need a domestic helper to look after my child outside childcare hours.”

She never expected, however, that her father would become so attached to the helper. According to her, their relationship gradually grew closer when he began using outings with his grandchild as an excuse to bring the helper along. He would spend time with her, treat her to restaurant meals, and buy her gifts.

Lately, the situation has escalated. Her father now talks to the helper on the phone late at night until 12:30 a.m. and has been buying her increasingly extravagant presents, including a 22k gold ring worth S$500.

“My helper also always wears a ton of make-up before going out with my dad, because she is using her beauty to get more gifts from him. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law have noticed this,” the employer said.

Even more troubling, her father had started to “demand” to see the helper more and more, making up “nonsense reasons” such as saying the helper needs to go over to his place to be shown “where the supermarkets are and how to cook and clean and mop.”

“I refuse every time, and my dad shouts at me,” she said. “My mum feels scared and upset. She has chest pain from this and other health problems from all the stress. She is currently admitted to hospital, and my dad is still trying to bring my helper out.”

Unable to think straight and scared this might completely ruin her family, she asked fellow locals for advice, writing: “What do I do? I don’t want to change the helper, as she is reliable at taking care of my child. I feel angry, betrayed, and upset by my dad, as it is his fault. He is supposed to be helping me in life, not destroying it and making it more difficult for me.”

‘How can you prioritise your maid over your father and family peace?’

In the discussion thread beneath her post, most commenters called on her to repatriate the helper and make ending the affair her priority.

One user bluntly told her that keeping the helper was a poor decision. “I’m sorry to say, but your solution to keep her sounds really stupid. Don’t you think no one else can take care of your kid? You'd rather see your mum hurt than get someone else to take care of your child?” 

“If you retain her, have you thought about how your mum will feel whenever she sees her? If it’s not your dad, it will be some other man. Are you okay with her dating while working here?”

Another said, “Isn't it just common sense that you should send your helper away? There is something wrong with her integrity, and why would you want to hurt your mum???”

A third added, “Hurry up and send the maid back. How can you prioritise your maid over your father and family peace?”

In other news, a 27-year-old man took to Reddit to ask for opinions after his wife described attending his grandmother's upcoming birthday celebration in Malaysia as a “favour” and a “hassle.”

In a post on Reddit’s r/asksg forum, the man explained that his grandmother had migrated to Singapore alone when she was young, leaving most of her family behind in Malaysia.

Read also: ‘Is it a favour?’: Husband upset wife sees trip for grandma-in-law’s 95th birthday as a hassle