SINGAPORE: A 27-year-old woman took to Reddit to ask for help when her 12-year relationship with her partner ended. She said she felt lost and called her post a “cry for help”.
The woman added that her former boyfriend called off their relationship four months before their wedding day. She wrote:
“The main reason was because he felt we have differences in values and he cannot accept it. He is not the best in communicating and always bottles up things which was why when he finally effectively communicate to me, it’s always when he couldn’t take it anymore. We don’t have the most perfect relationship, but we watched each other grow. We were together since 15, and he was there with me when my parent passed away when I was 17. He was a huge part of my life like I was in his.”
She added that the break-up hurt a lot, and she felt traumatised because they were “an almost and could have been”.
Since their lives are connected, she still sees him. They need to keep communicating because there are cancellations to be made as they have already made arrangements for the wedding, and they have a lot to answer to their friends and family members.
“Please tell me what to do because I am malfunctioning and I really need to get through this period. I would really be grateful if you could offer some advice or even exchange some words as I really need someone and yet I can’t keep texting my friends as they have a life too. I have lost my constant, someone I regard as my family member and now I am all alone. And I do not want to be going on dating apps as that would be the worst idea right now.”
She added that she would be seeing a therapist to help her through the trauma of the break-up.
Many Redditors were quick to sympathise and give advice to help her cope.
“It’s better for this to happen now rather than after you’re married, or worse, after you’ve had kids. It sounds like he has communication issues, and this would happen sooner than later.
“Right now, I think the priority would just be to put some distance between yourself and him,” wrote one.
“Give yourself time to grieve, and surround yourself with people who support you and love you, they will be key to your healing as well,” said another.
A commenter chimed in, “It’s normal to feel attached, but time helps man.”
“after a period of ‘resting and transition’, you should set some short term (3-6 months) and long term goals (2-5 years), what you need to do to achieve them, and get about doing that. i.e. things to move on with life and stop feeling reliant on having a partner to do anything,” another said.
A woman in the same situation wrote, “Please lean into your friends, I’d hate to think if my friend felt that she was disturbing me for texting me at a time like this. And be kind to yourself! You did what you could.”
/TISG