An American entrepreneur living in Singapore took to TikTok this week to talk about her encounter with a car salesman who only addressed her husband and ignored her completely while they were buying a car.
“Can someone tell me why women are treated as second-tier citizens here,” asked Monica Millington, founder of Singapore-based menswear brand Tropick and Apprentice ONE alum.
In spite of having told the salesman that she is the decision-maker in the matter of their car purchase, not only did the salesman refuse to engage with her, he would not even look her in the eye.
@monicamillington Literally just the tip of the iceberg of my experiences here. Not going to name and shame the dude as I think he was a nice guy, he just wasn’t taught better. I hate how we’re just seen as “the wife” so often and not as independent individuals, and I don’t think this issue is exclusive to expats #feminism #womensrights #genderequality #sexism #expatlife #singaporeexpats expatsg.
♬ original sound – Monica from The Apprentice – Monica | Big sis advice
“I don’t get it,” Ms Millington, who has lived here since 2017, said.
“I hate how we’re just seen as ‘the wife’ so often and not as independent individuals, and I don’t think this issue is exclusive to expats,” she wrote in the caption of her video.
“All women deserve to be treated as independent individuals, no matter where they’re from,” Ms Millington told TISG. “I’m speaking up about it not to bash the wonderful country I live in, but to call out the individuals that are partaking in this hateful behaviour because I believe that Singapore as a whole has higher standards than that.”
And while some netizens did provide Ms Millington with insight and shared similar experiences, others took offence at her video, accusing her of wanting to impose her “Western privilege” on Singapore.
The TikTok even spawned a Reddit thread, where the comments proved some of the points Ms Millington had made.
Ms Millington answered many of the comments on her TikTok, saying that the issue is all about respect for women as individuals, and not imposing Western culture on Singapore.
In succeeding TikToks, she highlighted some of the comments.
“You guys…honestly, respectfully. Pls don’t bring the American nonsense to Asia. Everyone here is happy with the male/female dynamic here,” wrote one.
@monicamillington Replying to @sheerindefatigabilty i have no words 🤦♀️ #sexism #genderequality #tiktoksg #singaporelife #singaporeexpat #expatsg #singaporetiktok #culturaldifferences #feminism #menarescary
♬ original sound – Monica from The Apprentice – Monica | Big sis advice
“I am a man. Most of the world is happy with traditional male/female roles,” wrote another.
@monicamillington Replying to @Sheer Indefatigabilty lol i cant anymore 💀 #genderequality #feminism #genderdivide #genderinequality #menarescary #womensrightsmatter
♬ original sound – Monica from The Apprentice – Monica | Big sis advice
In her comment to TISG, Ms Millington again underlined that the issue is about respect, which all women deserve.
She wrote, “While there are a few men showing their support for gender equality, the majority are angry at me for speaking out (which to me, is very telling of the problem here).
The most common responses I have gotten from the haters is that I am imposing American culture on Singapore, that women cannot understand technical car jargon, that my husband has the credit card, that I’m probably stuck up and rude, that that’s the way Singapore is and I should go back to my own country, that I’m an attention whore, or that men have to serve NS so it doesn’t matter.
None of which are true, and all of which prove my point that there is an obvious problem with sexism here.
It doesn’t matter that I’m a foreigner, all women deserve to be treated as independent individuals no matter where they’re from.” /TISG