SINGAPORE: A young Singaporean shared on social media that her father beat her up for not giving up her seat to an elderly passenger on a bus.
Posting on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, on Tuesday (Dec 17), she explained that while she usually offers her seat to elderly passengers on crowded buses or trains, she chose not to in this instance as there were multiple empty seats available at the back of the bus.
“I was sitting in the middle, right behind the empty space for standing, not on a priority seat. This old man enters, looks about 80+, and I thought people at the front would give up their seats, but he continued walking towards the back,” she recounted.
Noticing about five empty seats at the back, she assumed he would head there and decided she wouldn’t need to give up her seat. However, to her surprise, the elderly man stopped in the standing area near her and stared at her, refusing to move further to the available seats.
She also noted that the other passengers eventually moved to the rear to occupy the empty seats, but the elderly man continued to stand and stare at her for the entire 30-minute bus ride, only sitting when the person close to her got up to alight.
Her father, seated behind her on the same bus, also witnessed the situation but did not offer his seat. Despite this, when they arrived home, he confronted her and ‘beat her up’ for not giving up her seat to the elderly man, insisting she was in the wrong.
“I crashed out when my dad beat me up, and the police had to come,” she said.
Reflecting on the situation, the young Singaporean expressed that she ‘did not think she was wrong’ since the elderly man could have taken the seats at the back.
“Why did he choose to stop at where I was and not move to the back where there were clearly enough seats for him to choose from?” she wrote.
“My dad said it was because he was old and didn’t want to move to the back. Then why didn’t he stay at the front to harass the people there instead? It doesn’t make sense to me,” she added.
She then asked the Reddit community, “Am I in the wrong for not giving up my seat? Why did this elderly act this way? If most people think I’m in the wrong, then I’ll accept it and try to do better, I promise.”
“Your dad should not be beating you – especially not for such a small matter…”
In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor offered a plausible explanation for why the elderly man wanted to take her seat. He said, “Aiyoh, the old man is really old. He wants to sit near the exit door.
Especially if it’s the type of bus where the back part has steps up, it’s a bit difficult for him to make his way there and for him to squeeze his way out when he wants to alight. He should have said something, though.”
Another suggested a simple yet effective solution to avoid similar situations in the future: directly asking elderly passengers if they would like her seat.
She added, “It saves you the trouble of trying to second guess other people’s intentions. That’s the problem most Singaporeans have; they are too shy to speak up.”
Others supported the young Singaporean, saying they would have done the same thing if they were in her position. One Redditor said, “There’s no reason for me to give up my seat when other seats are available.”
Several also reacted to the fact that her father physically assaulted her.
One Redditor commented, “Those two incidents are not related in any way; your dad is too extreme and looking for an opportunity to beat you. Also, most elderly in public these days are too entitled; it’s ok to ignore them.”
Another expressed, “Your dad should not be beating you – especially not for such a small matter. If this is a regular occurrence, please seek help from social services; my DMs are also open.”
Family Violence
The Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE) provides support for individuals experiencing family violence. Those in need can contact their helpline at 1800 777 5555, available Monday to Friday, from 10 am to 6 pm.
Victims can also seek counselling services from Family Service Centres (FSCs) and Protection Specialist Centres, including PAVE, TRANS SAFE Centre, and Care Corner Project StART.
Crisis shelters are available for those requiring immediate safety. Admission can be arranged through referrals from the police, any Family Service Centre, or hospital social workers.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)