SINGAPORE: A Singaporean recently confessed on r/askSingapore that after just a week in her first full-time job, she broke down in tears and had to escape to the bathroom to hide her distress.
“I felt so useless,” she wrote. “I wasn’t understanding things or kept making mistakes despite trying my best or thinking I had it right.”
It didn’t help that her colleagues kept pointing out how slowly she was progressing. Their comments made her feel even more anxious and inadequate. On top of that, they kept comparing her to another colleague who seemed to learn things way faster.
“I acknowledge I tend to learn slower than others, but I always give my absolute best, even if it means working overtime or staying up late to understand new concepts,” she said.
“Up till now I am still unsure about it, but I am too afraid to ask as I have already been asked a lot of stupid questions.”
Because of this, she now finds it dreadful to go to work because she’s afraid she might break down again.
In a bid to cope, she turned to the community for advice, asking, “Any tips on how to stop being so emotional and crying over situations like this? P.S. I feel like I cry easily, which makes me feel even more worthless and stupid for doing so.”
“It will get better as you get yourself oriented to the company and the culture.”
In the comments section, Singaporean Redditors encouraged her to focus on her strengths and recognize that everyone has a unique learning curve.
They suggested that she try to shift her perspective from self-criticism to self-compassion, emphasizing that it’s normal to struggle in a new job and that making mistakes is part of the learning process.
One Redditor shared her own experience, recalling how, during her first job, she faced constant criticism from seniors who gave her little guidance. She even had to endure an additional round of scolding on the eve of her birthday.
She said, “I hid in the toilet to cry, dried my tears and then emerged as if I didn’t feel anything. Have some trust in yourself, it will get better as you get yourself oriented to the company and the culture.”
Another encouraged her to persevere, saying it’s not about how quickly she catches on but about showing that she’s got a positive attitude and is willing to put in the effort.
She said, “Please don’t give up. You’re just one week in!! Put in good attitude (willingness to learn and ASK even if you sound stupid), and put in effort to make sure you understand (repeat what they explain and check if that’s what they mean), and your colleagues will see that you’re trying your best.”
A third Redditor also assured her that it often takes several months to learn the ropes. He added, “If they retain you after probation, you’re probably not doing as bad as you think.
“If they retain you but the toxicity continues, start looking for another job. At that point, don’t even wait for a second. It’s no point hanging around and hoping things will get better.”
Featured image by Depositphotos
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