SINGAPORE: A man took to social media about not wanting to have children, but his wife had “accidentally” gotten pregnant.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man said he did not want to be a parent. He added that this was something he conveyed to his wife early on, which they both agreed to. “Yet, she refuses to abort it even though we talked about finances (low income family), time (both of us are working irregular shift hours) and caretaking arrangements (cannot afford a babysitter, and parents are out of the question)”. The man wrote that even after they went for multiple counselling sessions to try to agree on things, his wife refused to look at the issue logically and felt that things will somehow work out, “that money will drop from the sky or something. Stressed out and having some dark thoughts about ending things. Looking for helpful advice”, the man wrote.
Netizens told him to consider the toll of the issue on his wife and urged him to reconsider and try to work things out with her. One said: “If u get her to abort when she’s in love with the baby, do u know how much of mental and emotional stress u have to deal with her after the abortion is done? She will be broken because she didn’t want to abort, but did it for ….you. I believe you can maybe try to make the situation better now, perhaps try finding other jobs to have a more standard 9-5 work hours or something and evenings do something more to earn extra. Grab? Tuition? Deliveries? Same thing for your wife, see if there’s a shift that she can stick to because of child minding In the evenings or switch jobs. When baby is born, try to apply for IFC or pg (if she can stay home longer to care for baby). There are subsidies for working mums and further subsidies for low income families. Alternatively, can get a helper to care for baby full time as you two work also”.
Another netizen commented: “Not sure which is worse: bringing an innocent child into this world, knowing that you can’t feed him/her or ending it’s life prematurely. It’s a chicken and egg situation so I wouldn’t wana blame OP or anyone. Personally if u ask me, I believe all is not lost. There’s social service for low income households with the FAS (Financial Assistance Scheme) that you can apply for. For someone like me who hates children before and now having two little joys of my own, all I can say is that the priceless happiness and satisfaction you get when you see your little one borned (sic) and when he/she starts to call you Daddy, is worth every effort. That alone is a motivation for you to want to improve your financial situation to better provide for your child”.