SINGAPORE: A man turned to social media for help after his parents discovered that he had spent a significant portion of his hard-earned savings on his girlfriend during the first ten months of their relationship.
“I spent a few thousand on my gf within the 10 months we’re together…My dad lectured me about how I’m basically wasting my time working since my savings are basically $0” the man wrote on r/singaporefi on Saturday (April 6).
He elaborated that his bank balance was approximately S$19,000 before he entered a relationship with his girlfriend.
However, during this period, he struggled to save anything from his earnings, and his savings were even dipped to cover expenses such as food, dates, and phone bills for his girlfriend.
He also disclosed that his parents became aware of this situation when they asked him about the Zakat payment.
“…with fasting month coming to an end, my parents asked me about how much I need to pay for zakat. I told them 400. Then their face looks like puzzled and then they say cannot be.
Then, they started grilling me about my expenses,” the man explained.
Feeling trapped and pressured, the man openly admitted that his financial situation worsened because of his relationship expenses and the losses he incurred from the stock options.
“How do I recover from this?” the man asked at the end of his post.
Why spend all the money to act rich for her?
In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor asked him, “Why spend all the money to act rich for her? Why spend so much money on your relationship when you know it’s clearly unsustainable?
Doesn’t mean you are in a relationship means you have to be eating at restaurants every other day or bring her somewhere expensive every weekend.
Your spending habits have to still be in line with your salary, even in a relationship. If she expects you to pay everything, then sorry man, this girl isn’t the girl of your dreams, she is the devil of your financial nightmare.”
While another commented, “You need to re-think your bad investments and unnecessary spending on gf. If can’t afford it, don’t have it. Or find a new gf, seems like she’s treating you like a bank acc?
Idk relationships shouldn’t be transactional but there are boundaries and no one should be spending more than they can.”
Others, meanwhile, suggested that he end his relationship with his girlfriend. One individual said, “She may be a nice person, but the fact that she let you splurge so much on her is a non-starter, period.
Even if you’re rich, any woman who lets her bf do this isn’t a keeper. She’s either immature, self-centred or has unrealistic expectations of you. Or worse, she’s treating you as her supplementary ATM. If you can’t see this, you need to wake up.”
Furthermore, they advised the man to consider investing. They said that this would make his money less readily available for impulse spending yet remain accessible for emergencies.
Plus, it would stop him from feeling too rich whenever he looks at his bank account. Some also comforted the man by pointing out that he’s still young and has plenty of time to recover financially.
They emphasized that setbacks are a normal part of the learning journey and should be seen as opportunities to grow and improve.
The key takeaway is to use these experiences as stepping stones towards achieving financial stability and growth in the future.
One Redditor commented, “I beg to differ from the rest. The money you spent probably gotten you an experience on stocks and your relationship with your gf.
End of the day, you need to decide whether it’s worth it or not. Money can earn back but the experience you may or may not.”