SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman took to Reddit to vent about how much she hates her boyfriend for making her feel “worthless all the time,” cheating on her with multiple women and calling her “ugly and a 2/10.”
In a lengthy post on Reddit’s ‘Singapore Raw’ forum, the woman shared that her boyfriend lives in another country and has been taking turns visiting each other for the last two years.
She also said that she’s been doing everything she can so that her boyfriend could someday live with her in Singapore. “I’ve gotten him a high-paying job; he will be living rent-free, will have a car to drive, and can go back home (just a five-hour flight away) if he feels sick. Singapore’s currency is higher than his, so he would be earning more than what he earns in his home country,” she said.
But just when she thought she had done everything to ensure their future, her world came crashing down. Her boyfriend confessed that he had not only cheated on her with one woman but with six others as well.
“I knew he was cheating on me, and he admitted that it was with one girl. But he came clean and said it was with about six other girls during the entire duration of our relationship,” she explained. “He cheated on me with random girls from dating apps, his intern receptionist, girl A, and a few others.”
Moreover, she recently stumbled upon a conversation between her boyfriend and his friends and was devastated by how he spoke about her. She had always believed that, despite their struggles, he cared for her, but what she read shattered that illusion completely.
“I saw how he spoke about me to his friends, calling me a 2/10, how ugly I am, how “OLD” I am (we’re only 10 months apart), and how I’m not his type,” she recalled, hurt by the betrayal.
As if that wasn’t painful enough, she also discovered that his interest in her was never genuine.
“He said he was only interested in me because he’s never been with a “tattooed” girl, so he wanted to try me. I guess after reading his conversations with his friends about how ugly I am, it’s made me feel a little insecure because you would never imagine someone who claims they love you to say things about you to their friends and laugh about you behind your back,” she added.
She then recounted the time when her parents confronted her boyfriend about marriage, and he responded that he would only marry her once he turned 35 years old. “I’ve told him asking me to wait almost eight years is ridiculous. Even my parents say he’s wasting my time and that I should find another Singapore guy in Singapore,” she continued.
Despite everything she had uncovered, including the cheating, the cruel words, and his lack of real commitment, her boyfriend still refused “to let [her] break up with him.” Instead of accepting the end of their relationship, he has been trying to patch things up, as if his actions and words hadn’t already destroyed her trust completely.
“He said nobody else treated him [as well] as I did. He said how I never asked him for money or was always there for him – compared to the other girls who were just “making use of him” – his own words.
He constantly tells me how he’s “sacrificing” everything to move to Singapore “just for me” during our arguments, and I rebut him by saying that if it’s such a chore, he doesn’t have to come to Singapore,” she said.
“So he was begging, crying for me not to leave him and wanting a second chance. Now he’s doing everything that I had asked him for during the course of our relationship (before I found out he was cheating on me), such as calling me more often, writing letters for me, buying flowers for me,” she added.
Even though she saw that he was trying to change, she admitted she no longer cared. “I just feel stuck. There are times when I do love him, but sometimes the anger I feel is more than my love for him,” she concluded.
“You’re definitely a 2/10 if you’re putting up with this…”
Many Singaporean Redditors flocked to the comments section to give the woman a “wake-up call,” urging her to see that her boyfriend was nothing but a manipulative man who wanted to take advantage of her.
“Crying is just a way for him to manipulate you so he can continue his old ways. He already cheated multiple times; he’s not going to change. Also, stop doing favours to him, like getting him a job; that’s his responsibility; tell him to grow a spine. He’s just using you,” one Redditor said.
“Serial cheaters won’t ever change their stripes. You can’t ‘fix him’. All it takes is one single temptation, and he’s back into his old ways.” another commented.
“You already listed so many reasons, but most importantly, he belittles you. What are you waiting for? Some assurance that you’re doing the right thing? Don’t wait. He is just using you. Move on, you will have a much better life,” a third wrote.
Others criticised the woman for staying in the relationship despite all the red flags. “Yup, you’re definitely a 2/10 if you’re putting up with this,” one Redditor told her.
“What’s wrong with you? Just leave. Anything else is stupidity,” another chimed in.
Why do people stay in toxic relationships
According to Dr Roxy Zarrabi, a clinical psychologist who writes for Psychology Today, some people stay in toxic relationships not because they don’t recognise the red flags but because they fear being alone, struggle to walk away after investing so much time and effort, hesitate to start over or hold onto the hope of who their partner could become rather than accepting who they truly are.
Additionally, some individuals find it difficult to leave because they tie their self-worth to their relationship status, feel lost without their partner, become addicted to the emotional ups and downs, or believe that every relationship has challenges and this is just another rough patch.
Breaking free isn’t easy, but experts say that once you’ve accepted that the relationship isn’t working and you’re ready to move on, having a plan can make the transition smoother. If it’s a long-distance relationship, you might want to inform your partner and then cut off contact, like blocking them on social media. If you live together, figure out where you will stay ahead of time.
It also helps to let your friends and family know what’s going on so you have a support system in place. Once you’ve officially left, setting personal or career goals can help you stay focused on moving forward. Cutting off communication with your ex is also important because giving yourself space will make it easier to heal. If you’re finding it difficult to cope, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Read also: ‘Is it okay to stay single forever in Singapore?’ — 30-year-old man asks
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