SINGAPORE: A young mother has shared her dilemma of whether she should purchase a new mobile phone for her helper, whose phone is dying. On one hand, the helper needs a proper phone to call her family back in her home country but on the other hand, the employer feels that getting a new phone may worsen the problem of her helper’s already excessive use of her phone.
Taking to the anonymous FDW in Singapore Facebook page, the employer revealed that she is a mother who hired a foreign domestic helper two months ago to help care for her newborn baby.
Revealing that the helper has been performing her duties satisfactorily, the employer said that her helper has recently requested a loan to purchase a new mobile phone as her phone shuts down after 30 minutes of use.
The employer is seeking advice as she is unsure what she should do. She said, “I am abit reluctant as I have been seeing her chit chatting while we are away from home thru the cctv or I am in the room after she finished her daily chores.”
She added, “Caught a few times feeding my newborn and taking at the same time too. Her avg talking more than 30min or longer. Should I agree to her request?”
Some netizens reacting to the employer’s post understood her reluctance to grant the loan request given the helper’s past behaviour of talking excessively while on duty and not giving her full attention to the newborn baby.
Others offered a different perspective and pointed out that the helper’s request for a loan may not necessarily be a red flag. It is possible that she genuinely needs a new phone, and her current financial situation does not allow her to purchase one. In such a case, denying the request may seem unfair and insensitive.
Additionally, the helper’s behaviour of talking excessively and not giving her full attention to the newborn may not necessarily be malicious. She may be unaware of the impact of her actions on the baby or may not have been given clear guidelines on how to behave while on duty.
The dilemma becomes an even trickier one given the implications of loaning money. The lines between the employer-employee relationship may become blurred and create an awkward power dynamic. The helper may feel beholden to the employer, and the employer may feel entitled to the helper’s services even when they are not needed.
Lending money to a helper can set a precedent for future requests. If the employer agrees to this request, the helper may feel entitled to ask for more money or favours in the future, which could lead to an uncomfortable situation.
Some netizens advised that the employer should have an open conversation with the helper about her behaviour and the expectations for her role, making it clear that the primary responsibility of the helper is to take care of the newborn and that any other activities should be done during her free time.
If the employer is willing to consider the request, she should discuss the terms of the loan, such as the repayment plan, and make sure that they are comfortable with the agreement before proceeding. Netizens advised that the welfare of the newborn should be the top priority, and all decisions should be made with this in mind.
