SINGAPORE: A Reddit post where a man said he went on a first date with a woman who told him she’d like to continue seeing him if he earns at least S$5,000 a month has received hundreds of comments since it was posted on r/askSingapore on Tuesday (Sept 19).
“After the meetup, she expressed her interest in meeting again but wanted to know if I bring home at least S$5k a month and stated that its the pre-requisition for a 2nd date and beyond,” he wrote. For him, the two “eyebrow-raising criteria” the woman mentioned are a minimum salary range and high aspiration.
u/Farmerwhen titled his post “Aspiration, salary, dating and it’s pre-requisition.” He told the story of meeting up with a woman on the dating site Coffee Meets Bagel recently, where they discussed their ideal types and standards in a partner.
They’re both in their mid-20s, but she’s still studying, although they went dutch on the bill. And while he meets the salary “requirement,” it’s the aspiration part of the requirement that appears to bother him.
He then asked if Singaporeans are “really that materialistic, superficial, direct, and low eq” and if fellow Reddit users “have a minimum salary you expect your slave partner to bring home.”
He also wondered what other prerequisites people have for their partners, if any, and how aspiration is measured.
“If I have no aspiration with my career (climbing up the ladder, but still making> median salary) but have a growth mindset outside of work in terms of say fitness, mental health, hobbies, is that still not comparable or less attractive than aspiration with career?
Is this a red flag or am I just being sensitive and it’s more of a ‘girl/guy boss knows his/her standards and worth and what he/she wants’ situation? Is it the norm to talk/ask about salary on first few dates?”
Commenters on the post did not appear to have a good impression of the woman.
“Life will not always be a bed of roses. If your income ever drops below $5k then how? Divorce? I seriously know someone who was like that. I call her the “Fair weather wife”. When times are good. All is ok. Once the s*** hit the fan she is the first one out” wrote one.
Another said, “Dating has a KPI and an interview now LOL. My honest opinion? Drop her.”
However, another said that at least the woman was honest. “I actually would appreciate the honesty rather than waste time and effort only for nothing to come out of it.”
“Would you rather she tell you what her expectations are after a few dates instead? At least she’s upfront so you can decide,” another agreed.
“She has her expectations, not wrong of her. Everyone has their own expectations. Seems like your values don’t really align with hers. Go next bro,” said a Reddit user. /TISG
https://theindependent.sg/how-to-know-if-youre-dating-a-marriage-minded-person/