SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to open up about the severe toll her job has taken on her mental health, revealing that she has been crying “almost every day” ever since her job responsibilities changed.
In her post on the r/askSingapore subreddit, she explained that she had “initially performed well in her operational role”, but everything changed with her new job scope.
The woman admitted she struggled to meet her boss’ expectations and received multiple “pieces of negative feedback” about her performance.
“Despite my best efforts, I can’t seem to perform well, leading to increased stress over the past few months. I’ve cried multiple times at work, experienced sleepless nights, and have fallen ill, with just the thought of work triggering anxiety,” she lamented.
What makes things even worse, she said, is the way her boss reacts when she doesn’t have the answers he’s looking for. She described how he frequently “raises his voice”, showing his frustration openly, and “rolls his eyes” in exasperation whenever she makes a mistake or struggles to provide the information he wants.
“This causes me significant anxiety and diminishes my confidence,” she confessed. “It feels daunting to work in an environment where I constantly fear his overreactions. I’ve tried but I just can’t work together with R and I know there’s always worse out there.”
Even though she wants to quit her job, she’s been hesitating because she doesn’t have a back-up plan. She also worries about how quitting might reflect on her career, as she has been in the company for less than two years. Moreover, she confessed, a part of her still “wants to prove to her boss that she can do well”.
Hoping for a way forward, she asked Singaporean Redditors for advice on how to navigate or resolve her situation.
“You don’t need to prove anything to a random person who just happens to be your boss”
In the discussion thread, many pointed out that staying in a job just to prove something to a difficult boss wasn’t worth it, especially if the work environment was already taking such a heavy toll on her well-being.
“A superior that screams or shouts is an immediate red flag. Why sinkies willing to tolerate such toxicity is beyond me,” one comment read.
“There’s no need to prove yourself to someone who doesn’t value/ respect you. It’s like saying you buy branded to show off to strangers. Pointless,” another chimed in.
“You don’t need to prove anything to a random person who just happens to be your boss and treats you like crap and doesn’t respect you. Have some self-respect, please. You clearly know your strengths and weaknesses and your boss doesn’t, he’s a lousy boss,” a third said.
Some also encouraged her to start looking for a new job while still employed, so she wouldn’t have to deal with the uncertainty of being unemployed.
“Start diligently looking for new job, there are better places out there. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and take care of your mental health, it’s more important. No boss should ever raise the voice or yell at their subordinates regularly, regardless of any reasons, in some companies that amounts to bullying or fringes on workplace abuses which is against company policies,” one explained.
Signs you’re being bullied by your boss
Bullying at work isn’t always as obvious as someone yelling at you or publicly humiliating you. Sure, those are major red flags, but sometimes, it’s way more subtle.
According to Sherri Gordon, a bullying prevention expert and writer for VeryWell Mind, “If your boss undermines your work, stands in the way of your success, isolates you in the workplace, or intrudes on your privacy, they are bullying you.”
Moreover, if you’re feeling anxious every time you step into the office, dreading your workdays before they even start, or constantly walking on eggshells, that’s a major sign that something’s not right.
What you can do
First things first, if you feel safe doing so, consider having a conversation with your boss or the person involved.
Sometimes, people don’t realise how their behaviour is affecting others, and addressing it directly might help set some boundaries. That said, if the person in question is the type to react poorly or escalate the situation, you’ll want to be careful about how you approach it.
If nothing changes, Gordon suggests keeping a record of what is happening. “Write down what happened, when it happened, and who was there to witness it,” she advised. If the situation gets worse, consider reporting it to HR.
When to walk away
At the end of the day, no job is worth sacrificing your mental health.
“If you have communicated your needs clearly and taken responsibility for your part in what may be going on, and if you’ve asked for reasonable adjustments to be made and still, nothing changes, it may be time to leave,” psychotherapist Chance Marshall told The Stylist.
A job should challenge you, help you grow, and make you feel capable. It should not break you down, make you doubt yourself, or leave you emotionally drained every day. It is easy to feel like you have to “tough it out” especially if you have invested time in the role or are worried about finding something new. But staying in a toxic work environment can take a serious toll on your confidence and well-being.
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