SINGAPORE: An online user recently took to social media to ask for relationship advice for an expat friend going through quite a messy breakup. The post claimed that the writer’s friend was cheated on by a partner who still owes her money.
“Expat friend (female) got cheated on by her now ex (male) who happens to owe her money,” the online user wrote in an online forum on Thursday (Feb 15). “He is also an expat. Now that she got cheated on, she’s asking him to pay what he owes her in a week since she doesn’t want any connection with him anymore.”
The writer then asked Singaporeans, “Can local police help her get a settlement or does it have to be through our country’s embassy?”
Singaporeans weigh in
A handful of people shared their two cents on the matter.
“I think this is considered a civil case and not a criminal case so the police would not get involved…am not a lawyer though,” said one.
Another wrote, “This is a civil matter between two parties. Unless it is proven beyond any reasonable doubt that a crime has been committed like cheating, etc.
Neither the police nor the embassy will get themselves involved. If there is an official IOU, your friend can engage a lawyer or debt collector to try to recover the debt. This will also be difficult as it is one party’s words against another party.”
A few others suggested considering the amount and being willing to let the debt go. “Don’t think local authorities can help,” said one. “Let it go if the amount is not big. Good luck to your female friend.”
One commenter left other readers a piece of advice about lending money.
“Nothing much to add beyond what others have said,” he/she wrote. “But..these days, the advice I would dispense to those close to me is that whenever anyone asks to borrow money, get collateral from them i.e. jewellery, or some item close or higher in value.
“Be as shameless as them when asking for collateral, as how they are shameless towards you when asking for money. No IOU or official legal document can compel someone to pay you back. Once you have the collateral and they cannot or won’t pay back, just sell it to recoup the money.”
What to do if an ex owes you money
According to Glam, if an ex owes you money, one of the first things you can do is talk to them.
The article recommends, however, waiting at least a week after your official break up to give each other time to cool off. This will give both parties a fresh headspace to discuss the financial issue. However, it is important to be direct.
The article also suggests developing flexible payment terms, especially if the amount owed is big.
Another option is also to exchange the money owed for other financial assets. Again, however, communication regarding these things must be clear and direct.
It is also helpful to be ready to just let the debt go if it cannot be paid on time. After all, if your goal is to move on, you need to establish a firm boundary.