‘Should I give her more time?’: Employer says helper fed grandmother ‘rotting food’

SINGAPORE: A local employer is seeking opinions online after claiming her newly hired Indonesian domestic helper gave “rotting” food to her elderly grandmother, stored large amounts of food in secret, and ate it privately inside the bathroom.

In a post published on the r/askSingapore forum on Sunday (Jun 7), the employer said she had found around “10–15 plates and containers” in the bathroom cabinet. She also found food that was already “two days old” placed in a plastic bag, tucked under one of her grandmother’s used diapers inside the trash bin.

The employer said she kept the two-day-old food aside and later discovered that the helper had taken it back, eaten part of it, and given the remainder to her elderly grandmother.

“My grandmother started having diarrhoea because she was given this rotting food,” the employer wrote, adding that the helper denied it when confronted.

“She lied that some outside people offered her the food, whereas I clearly saw the food was all cooked by me from two days earlier.”

The employer also claimed that the helper had been clashing with another domestic helper who had worked for the family for years.

“She started fighting with my long-time helper (Indonesian) from day one, saying she is from a city in Indonesia, and my old helper is from a kampong/village. They fight 5–6 times every day over minor issues, creating a lot of drama, with both running to me to complain.”

“And it’s probably because of her fighting with my old helper, who cooks most of the time in the kitchen, that she started [hiding food in the bathroom].

According to the employer, the helper’s previous employer had terminated her employment because they believed she was “too slow.”

However, after observing her firsthand, she found that the helper was actually not slow but rather “absent-minded and always on the phone.”

“My helper was responsible for all household tasks there—cooking, cleaning, laundry, marketing, taking care of elderly, etc. So, I thought her lower workload at my house will be okay because good attitude, in my opinion, is the key. I stay home, so I quickly found out she is not slow but absent-minded and always on her phone. She would only work when I was watching her.”

“She would also clean 1 bathroom for 2 hours because she locks the door, and I found her busy on the phone talking to Bangla workers. If I find something is not done, she says sorry and says she will do it tomorrow. But it never gets done.”

Seeking advice from the community, she wrote at the end of her post: “Should I give her more time or send her back? Because if I give her a transfer, I wouldn’t be able to give her a good recommendation.”

“She clearly cannot be trusted.”

Many readers were stunned by the employer’s post, particularly the allegation that the helper had given spoiled food to an elderly woman. For many, that alone was serious enough to warrant immediate dismissal.

One individual said, “Did you just write that this helper gave ROTTING FOOD to your grandmother and you’re wondering if you should give her another chance??? Bruh, get your priorities right.”

Another wrote, “Omg, so many red flags. Send her back! She clearly cannot be trusted, and to top it all off, she is unhygienic with her eating habits plus disturbing your household’s peace with all that fighting.”

A third added, “You’re either too nice, or you’re just being bullied/taken advantage of. Feeding rotting food to grandma would be the final straw for most. I think you know very well what really needs to be done.”

A fourth, meanwhile, suggested stricter supervision. “If you want to keep her, I suggest take her phone away during working hours.”

In other news, a university student has turned to Reddit for advice after finding himself trapped in what he sees as an impossible situation. 

While his mother refuses to contribute to his university expenses or allow him to take out a bank loan, she has also forbidden him from taking on certain part-time jobs in the F&B industry to support himself.

Read more: Mum bans son from taking F&B job but won’t help pay for university: ‘Is my mum being selfish?’