SINGAPORE: A university student has turned to Reddit for advice after finding himself trapped in what he sees as an impossible situation. While his mother refuses to contribute to his university expenses or allow him to take out a bank loan, she has also forbidden him from taking on certain part-time jobs in the F&B industry to support himself.
Confused by what he saw as contradictory demands, the student turned to Reddit to ask whether his mother was being unreasonable and selfish.
For context, he said his mother had been insisting since his polytechnic days that she “didn’t want him to go to university” and preferred that he start working immediately after graduating from polytechnic.
However, when he followed her wishes and secured a full-time job, he discovered what he believed was the real reason behind her stance: she wanted him to provide her with a monthly allowance.
According to the student, his mother demanded S$250 from him every month and, on some occasions, even logged into his bank account herself to transfer the money into her own account.
He wrote, “I got angry about it and had a fight with her over it, but I continued transferring her S$250 a month until I went to uni.”
When he eventually enrolled in university, he said he received no support from his mother, either emotionally or financially.
“She didn’t lend me any money and, if I didn’t have enough, she said I should just drop out. She didn’t let me take out a bank loan either, so I had to pay for all of my uni fees and expenses from my savings.”
The student said he wanted to work part-time as a barista because it would significantly ease his financial burden and also seemed like a job he would enjoy. He eventually secured a position.
However, when his mother found out, she allegedly threatened to throw him out of the house.
She also warned him against working in the F&B industry, claiming he would end up scalding himself with hot water because he had never cooked or made drinks before.
The student added that this was largely because his mother had prevented him from learning basic household skills while growing up.
He also suspected that her objections were linked to “saving face,” as she appeared willing to let him work in retail instead.
“Now I am totally not working and trying to find a part-time job that she is OK with while being thrifty so my savings don’t run out.”
“Is she being selfish if she doesn’t let me work in F&B, but at the same time says she won’t lend me money? Shouldn’t she just let me work at whatever job I want? And is it selfish if I still give her an allowance, but she won’t lend me a single cent or let me take out a bank loan?
“We are not poor or anything, by the way. Our CHAS card is green, and she paid for my brother’s school fees after he ORD’d from NS.”
“You should just tell her once and for all how you feel.”
The post quickly attracted responses from other Singaporeans, many of whom felt the student’s mother was being unfair.
One individual said, “Yes, incredibly selfish. A low birth rate is better than people being parents but not knowing how to be a good one.”
Another commented, “She’s not just selfish. She’s projecting whatever desires she wanted but didn’t get when she was younger onto you. Have ONE good talk with her because keeping communicating makes you weak. So you should just tell her once and for all how you feel, and if she wants to throw you out, then good riddance; move out and be independent forever.”
A third wrote, “Follow your dreams. Never let anyone hold you back from fulfilling your dreams, even if it’s your mother. And if you are no longer working, I don’t think it’s still necessary to give her allowance.”
However, not everyone agreed. One commenter said the mother wasn’t selfish and had her reasons.
“If we are answering your question, no. She has the right to manage her own money and how she chooses to manage the family. Regarding your F&B, it is likely that she doesn’t believe that you have the money to pay for your medical bill should you get injured at work, especially since 2nd or 3rd degree burned skin replacement surgery isn’t exactly cheap.”
In other news, a foreign worker sparked concern online after sharing details of a cooking job in Singapore that would require him to work up to 14 hours a day for a monthly salary of just S$2,000.
Posting on the r/asksg forum on Saturday (May 30), the worker said his contract stated a 44-hour work week. However, he claimed that the staff roster he had seen told a different story, with employees allegedly working around 14 hours a day and receiving only one or two rest days a month.
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