SINGAPORE: Securing a BTO flat with a loved one is a major milestone for many Singaporeans, but it turned out to be a real downer for this one particular man.
Posting on r/SingaporeRaw, he shared that shortly after their BTO was approved, his girlfriend admitted to cheating on him with his friend. “She confessed that she wanted to come clean and start afresh and expect me to forgive her,” he wrote.
“We have already sort of planned our wedding and everything. I don’t understand why she would tell me this after we got our BTO approved,” he added.
Now faced with a difficult decision, he pondered whether to stay in the relationship or let go of the house.
Turning down the BTO would mean a 5 to 6-year setback, and he was unsure if he could keep the place or how long it would take to get another one.
The financial implications also added to his distress, as he had already invested significantly in the deposit.
“I have already put in quite a sum in the deposit and it’s quite an amount for a fresh grad who just started work. Should I accept or reject BTO? I can’t understand how someone could do something like this. Is there a way to retain the house?”
“Money can be earned back. Trust, not so much, almost impossible. Time, no.”
In the discussion thread, many suggested that the man should forgo the BTO, arguing that sacrificing 5–6 years of his life is a small price compared to potentially spending 50–60 years with a partner who has cheated him.
They also questioned whether he wanted to endure decades of hard work to pay alimony to a cheating wife who may not even be a positive influence on their children.
They urged him not to prolong his suffering, emphasizing that he’s still young and can start anew by ending the relationship and forfeiting the BTO flat.
One netizen said, “It ain’t worth it staying with someone who willingly cheat on you and inform you after BTO is approved. She knows you cannot run away so she tell you at that moment.”
A divorced netizen also chimed into the discussion and shared that he forgave his ex-wife before for cheating on him. He even ignored her red flags and married her despite being betrayed.
However, later on, he realized that he shouldn’t have tolerated her mistakes.
He then advised the man not to go down the same path and suggested cutting ties with the woman while it was still early. He added, “Like many mentioned, money can earn back. Trust, not so much, almost impossible. Time, no.”
A third netizen who also got cheated on by his partner a month before their wedding told the man to simply let go of the relationship entirely, stressing that it’s a decision that could greatly improve his life.
He also encouraged him not to dwell on the past or try to fix what’s broken. Instead, he suggested he cut his losses financially, take what he could, and move forward.
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