SINGAPORE: In a recent online forum discussion, a man delved into the age-old question of “who should foot the bill on dates?”
“Personally, I believe that both men and women should split the bill on dates until they have comfortably established their expectations and compromises,” the man wrote on r/SingaporeRaw on Friday (April 26).
Moreover, he emphasized the significance of breaking away from traditional gender norms that designate men as the primary financial providers in relationships.
He pointed out that, in today’s society, sharing financial obligations between partners is a more pragmatic and just approach.
He then mentioned that continuing this tradition would only “benefit women and allow for a selective interpretation of equality.”
“There is societal pressure on men to continue being the “provider” regardless of how capable women can be. For some men, not doing so may hurt their ego, as they prioritize their ego over practicality.”
“… it speaks to the man’s character to pay for the date. It speaks to the woman’s character to offer to pay back”
The man’s post sparked a lively discussion on Reddit, drawing insights from various Singaporean Redditors who shared their perspectives.
While some strongly advocated for men to pay, viewing it as a gesture of sincerity and generosity, others argued that the responsibility should fall on the person who initiated the date or selected the venue.
Speaking from a male perspective, one Redditor stated:
“As a man, I will try to pay on the first date. If they offer I’ll tell them they can get the next one or make up some other reason why I should pay (e.g. the venue was my idea). Will happily go Dutch if they insist though.
After that I do prefer to take turns so it ends up more like 60/40. It’s not the most equal/fair, but practically speaking I still think it sets a better first impression.”
Another Redditor, representing a female viewpoint, shared, “As a female, i would always offer to pay back. However, i would not be keen on calculative guys. If it is out of budget, prob we can choose somewhere more economical.”
A third Redditor also shared his belief: “It speaks to the man’s character to pay for the date. It speaks to the woman’s character to offer to pay back.”
However, some argued that splitting the bill would be the most appropriate and fair approach if both parties mutually agreed on the venue. Others mentioned that going Dutch makes more sense in Singapore, where women often earn more than men.
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