SINGAPORE: A woman found herself in a difficult position after her boyfriend’s mother informed her that she wanted to “put her name in their BTO.”
She shared the story on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Thursday (Dec 19), hoping to get advice from others.
In her post, she explained that she and her boyfriend of five years had applied for a Build-to-Order (BTO) flat earlier this year under the Bedok launch. Separately, his parents also applied for a flat under the Pasir Ris launch.
Unfortunately, neither party was successful in securing a unit during this round. Despite this setback, her boyfriend’s mother later brought up a conversation about how they might approach future applications.
The mother revealed that she had been considering a plan for their next attempt. She suggested that since she would likely be the one paying for the BTO flat using funds from selling their current house, she wanted to replace the woman’s name in the application.
This change would make her and her son—the woman’s boyfriend—the joint applicants, leaving the woman either as an occupier or out of the application altogether. The mother justified her proposal by citing an example from decades ago, where her friend had done something similar.
“Her reasoning is that she ‘needs protection.’ She explained that if we all stay together in the BTO and my boyfriend and I divorce in the future, her family would risk losing the house, as it would likely be sold and the proceeds split between us,” she wrote.
“She also said she wouldn’t be able to recover the money she contributed toward the BTO.”
The woman admitted she was taken aback by the suggestion and found it difficult to process. She felt uncertain about whether such an arrangement was even allowed under HDB rules. She also questioned what this would mean for her rights as a future wife if her name were excluded from the application.
Seeking clarity, she asked others in the community, “ Should I agree to let her do this? Because apparently I don’t need to pay for the house (which I doubt so), or is this even allowed by HDB?
I’m genuinely looking for advice. If you’ve applied for a BTO before or know anything about this process, please share your input. Thank you!”
“Don’t make things complicated.”
In the discussion thread, Singaporean Redditors told the woman not to accept any money from her boyfriend’s mother and to cover the cost of the BTO entirely with her boyfriend.
This way, they’d have full ownership of the flat and avoid any drama tied to his mother’s financial involvement.
One Redditor commented, “Don’t make things complicated. It will be a huge mess. You pay for your own BTO with your future husband, don’t borrow any money from her for anything, else you will regret much.
And one very important question, what’s your bf view on this? If he is on his mom side, you really need to reconsider this relationship..”
Another added, “Your bf’s mom want to be his wife. Deep attachment issues. She will want to live with you all, then after that find ways to break up your marriage. You make sure you are listed as owner and use your own money to pay for it.”
A few Redditors were also thrown off by the fact that the mother was already talking about “divorce” before the couple was even married.
One Redditor said, “Is anyone noticing the part where the MIL commented about divorce in the future? Sounds like she has made up her mind to ostracise and never make you a part of the family.”
October BTO exercise drew 33,983 applicants
In the October Build-To-Order (BTO) exercise, a total of 33,983 applicants submitted their applications, resulting in an application rate of nearly four applicants for every flat, just hours before the deadline on October 23.
According to a Singapore Business Review report, this surge represents the highest engagement since August 2022, when a staggering 7.8 times application rate was recorded, with over 39,000 submissions.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)