SINGAPORE: A man took to an online forum to ask Singaporeans how to convince his mum to start saving money.
He posted on the r/askSingapore forum on Saturday (March 15), explaining that his parents are divorced and he has been giving both of them a monthly allowance to help with their expenses.
His dad, he shared, had been saving for the past few years and planning for the future. His mum, however, never developed the same habit.
Concerned that she might not have anything to fall back on when she needs it most, he recently suggested that she start setting aside some money. However, she immediately shot down the idea, brushing it off as unnecessary.
According to her, there is no need to worry about finances because her children will take care of her if anything happens.
“She said that she can depend on us [my sister and me]. I told her that medical bills will be expensive, and she said that insurance and, again, children will be able to cover all that,” he wrote. “She keeps saying that we should not be too thrifty but enjoy the money as after we die, it will go nowhere.”
Unsure of how to change her mindset, he turned to the online community for help. “How do I encourage her to start saving up? I was thinking of reducing her monthly allowance and saving on her behalf (with her knowledge). She’s in her mid-50s btw,” he said.
“You should spend and enjoy while still alive”
In the discussion thread, many Redditors agreed that saving on his mum’s behalf might be the best option.
One Redditor said, “Cut a portion of what you give her monthly and save on her behalf. It will be ugly but it has to be done or you will be her financial slave while she’s alive. At her age and based on what she says, she’s not going to change.”
Others suggested putting the money into an investment account or her CPF instead. “If she does not listen, top up her CPF for her, then you’re done with your duty already,” one user wrote.
Another shared, “Similar experience, instead of giving monthly allowance directly to my mother, my sibling and I direct those $ into a bank account that is only meant for her future medical expenses, given her inability to save up.”
A few, however, were a bit extreme and told the man to cut off financial support entirely.
One explained, “Playing devil’s advocate? Don’t fund anymore and let her experience the near death experience. May see an ugly side but I have a similar situation with a deadbeat family who has no savings to themselves. I just give up because it’s been going on for 15 years, because they’re never going to change themselves, citing me as the problem child if I told them not to spend money frivolously.”
Still, there were a few who could understand his mum’s perspective. One said, “Let me give you a different perspective. I am also mid 50 but still working. Our friend list on average 20% have pass away. When your friends die, you change your life views. You should spend and enjoy while still alive.”
Experts warn against giving money to financially irresponsible parents
According to financial experts, constantly giving money to a parent who struggles with financial responsibility can actually do more harm than good. While it may feel like the right thing to do, especially out of love and obligation, it can sometimes reinforce unhealthy spending habits instead of helping them become more financially independent.
Financial expert David Kindness said, “I’d advise against giving money if it’s becoming a regular occurrence or if your parents have a history of poor financial management. In these cases, giving money might enable harmful behaviours and put your own financial future at risk.”
Kindness also points out that if supporting your parents is making it harder for you to pay your own bills, save for retirement, or build an emergency fund, it is probably time to set some boundaries. That does not mean you have to cut them off completely, but rather rethink how you are helping them.
For instance, instead of handing them cash, you could offer to cover specific expenses, such as groceries, rent, or insurance premiums. Another option is to put money into a savings or investment account that they can only access for essential needs.
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)