SINGAPORE: Feeling devoid of purpose and direction, a 29-year-old man sought solace in social media. He expressed that even with a well-paying job and the flexibility to work from anywhere, he found it meaningless without a partner or family.
“What’s the point of FIRE by yourself? I’m making a decent salary (top 10% of age bracket) in a job which allows me to work from anywhere. I’m building my savings, building my FIRE. But honestly, everything just seems so pointless??” the man wrote on r/singaporefi on Monday (March 18).
“I don’t feel like I’m working towards anything purposeful in life. Promotion? Salaries? So what? After a certain point everything feels so meaningless.
I don’t have a family that I’m building/supporting, a wife/partner to take on dates to. My friends are all moving on with their own lives.”
He also mentioned feeling overwhelmed by loneliness due to losing his friends as they now had their own families, lacking connections or friends at work, and not being close with his family because of their reserved nature.
Furthermore, he stated that being a minority in Singapore has also made it difficult for him to find a partner. Consequently, he’s been travelling to different countries to increase his chances of meeting someone.
Unfortunately, he hasn’t had any success in this endeavour yet.
“Like honestly, this is such a privileged problem to have… like literally other people don’t have the luxury to ponder ‘purpose or fulfillment’ because they just have to work hard to support their family or put food on the table.
And here I am, earning good salary, staying in the comfort of my parents home, whining about loneliness and motivation :(”
“You need a purpose. So far, everything you said you tried is solo and for yourself. Give back”
In the comments section, Singaporean Redditors consoled the man, telling him that he was not alone in his predicament and that there was a way out.
One individual shared, “You need a purpose. So far everything you said you tried is solo and for yourself. Give back. Start by building back a relationship with your family again. Your parents aren’t getting younger.
If they are not the type to receive from you, maybe you can take on a mentee, and you can be a mentor.”
Another commented, “Exactly the same as you (minus the ability to work from anywhere bit). I dont have a solution, just wanted you to know you’re not alone”
A 31-year-old individual, who seemed to be in the same situation as the man in the past, also advised:
“I found that what changed my perspective was to focus on the impact of my work, and not focusing on what I have / can get (or not have), but what I can give. Find a need and meet that need—whether it’s a person, a purpose, or a community.
Volunteer, make time for friends even when you’re tired, maybe even mentor someone who might want some guidance on how to make it to the top 10% of your age bracket as an example. There’s always someone who could use a friend!”
Others, meanwhile, say that man cannot fill the ‘void’ in his life simply by having a partner. One individual said, “Having a life partner/girlfriend, is not a solution.
You are meant to be happy alone as individuals before you come together to reach a “happier” state. You shouldn’t be finding someone to fill the gap that was missing from the beginning.”
A 29-year-old single woman who, in some ways, felt the same way as the man also took to social media earlier this week to share her desire to have a life partner.
“It seems like without marriage, it’s awkward at times to hang out around people my age and find out here and there that they are attached or married,” the woman shared.