SINGAPORE: In modern dual-income households, how should the chores be divided? Should they be split equally between husband and wife, or should the woman take on the man’s role? Well, for one Singaporean man, the answer seems to be neither.
He took to the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Tuesday (Sept 10) to share that despite he and his wife working in demanding mid-level professional jobs, the burden of managing household chores falls entirely on him.
“Every time, every day after work, my wifey comes home and slumps onto the sofa watching her Korean dramas,” he said. On the other hand, he would cook and prepare dinner, check their two daughters’ schoolwork, do the laundry, and wash the dishes.
“I wash this and wash that and also clean the floor. Then, she would wear her Korean face mask and get ready to bed. Every day this happens,” he wrote. “When I ask her to help, she loses her temper, saying she is tired from work.”
Moreover, he mentioned that his wife regularly goes out with friends on weekends for shopping or holidays, while he stays home to take their children to the library, science centre, playgrounds, and other activities.
“Many friends ask me to get a maid, but I do not want to. Please advise what I should do. I am so tired every day… Is this everyone’s normal life like this? After married after kids after NUS?”
“Talk to her and see why she is not helping.”
In the comments section, netizens stressed that chores should be shared, especially when both partners go to work. Many felt it was unfair for the wife to use “being tired from work” as an excuse for not pitching in at home.
One netizen said, “You can ask her if only she is tired. Then what about you? Might as well change a wife if she can’t share the responsibility with you as a wife.”
Another commented, “That was her lifestyle prior to marriage… go out with friends and look pretty. Don’t you think she is gonna do the same after she’s locked you in marriage?”
Others recommended having a direct and honest conversation with his wife to address the issue of sharing responsibilities. One netizen expressed, “Sorry to say, If she loves the family and loves you, she will help. Talk to her and see why she is not helping.”
Several people also recommended hiring a maid or a part-time helper to help ease the domestic workload.
NUS Professor Ben Leong chimed in, advising, “If both you and your wife are working professionals, you should likely be able to hire a helper, and you should reconsider your decision not to hire a helper.
Your current situation is like you are playing a game and fighting a boss, and you are losing over and over because you are choosing to play in “Impossible” mode. Reducing the difficulty will likely have you complete the level more easily.”
Another offered a similar suggestion, saying, “Get a helper. That’s the most practical approach. Then you can watch Korean drama with your wife.”
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