Man in his early 30s says years of parental scolding are making him ‘lose his mind’—and he still has a 10 PM curfew

SINGAPORE: Recently, a local man in his early 30s took to social media to share that he is on the verge of breaking down after years of living with his family and being criticised for almost everything he does. According to him, no matter what choice he makes, it somehow ends up being the wrong one. 

Posting on the r/askSingapore Reddit forum on Monday (Dec 29), the man said that whenever he spends his own money, whether it is on travelling, going to the gym, heading out, or simply exercising, his parents are quick to shut it down. 

He shared that they often tell him he is “wasting his time,” that it is “not good for him,” or that “his body doesn’t even change,” which probably makes all those workouts feel extra pointless.

He added that even going out early in the morning to run or hit the gym earns him a scolding. One common refrain, he said, was, “You giving them money for what? You should stop!” even though he was paying for these activities himself.

To make matters worse, despite already being in his 30s, the man said he is still living with a strict 10 p.m. curfew.

Hoping to find some comfort or at least validation, he turned to fellow Reddit users for advice, writing: “How do all of you handle the amount of bickering given by your family? I’m losing my mind because it’s been 20+ years,” he wrote.

“I stay at home and also kena scolded on my off days but go out also kena scolded lol… It’s been kinda hard to be consistent in my life goals because I’ve been so sheltered since I was young. Do share some ways for me to deal with it better! Thank you!”

“Time to save up and move out.”

Under the post, many commenters weighed in with advice, with several urging the man to move out for the sake of his mental health.

“Honestly, if you feel like you are the worst version of yourself with your family, move out,” one user said. “They may be telling you this stuff out of bitterness of their missed dreams or out of excessive risk aversion. Yah, I know financially speaking moving out is not optimal, but to be fair, by remaining in there, you pay rent with your mental health and soul.”

Another commenter pointed out how restrictive his situation was, saying, “A 10 p.m. curfew in your 30s is crazy. Your peers are already married and having kids, bro. Time to move out; if you’re not financially able to, then it’s time to save up and move out.”

Not everyone agreed that moving out was a realistic solution, however. A third commenter highlighted the high cost of living in Singapore, writing, “All the people encouraging you to move out, but Singapore is so expensive. How to? I think maybe I’m not you, so it’s easy for me to say, but maybe just feed your parents what they wanna hear?

“Expensive gym? Say you are going to ActiveSG and the credits are free. If you don’t use them, govt won’t give you any more next year. No improvement from the gym? Say you are playing a game with your friends or an app, and the winner who runs the most will get a free meal each week.”

In other news, a 23-year-old local took to social media to share that her mum demanded she start paying for all the household expenses, including the HDB mortgage, town council fees, utilities, and Wi-Fi, just two months after she landed her first job. 

Sharing her dilemma on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Sunday (Oct 6), the woman, who has a salary of S$5,000 per month and has a take-home pay of around S$4,000, said that paying for all of this would take up around 30% of her pay.

Read more: 23 y/o local says mum wants 30% of her salary for bills and 10% for allowance just two months after starting her first job