23 y/o local says mum wants 30% of her salary for bills and 10% for allowance just two months after starting her first job

SINGAPORE: A 23-year-old local took to social media to share that her mum demanded she start paying for all the household expenses, including the HDB mortgage, town council fees, utilities, and Wi-Fi, just two months after she landed her first job. 

Sharing her dilemma on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Sunday (Oct 6), the woman, who has a salary S$5,000 per month and has a take-home pay of around S$4,000, said that paying for all of this would take up around 30% of her pay.

While the woman admitted “she feels bad” that her mum has been struggling to cover all the bills on a S$3,000 salary for years, she couldn’t help but feel frustrated by the pressure suddenly being dumped on her.

“I am definitely not aiming for FIRE or anything, but this new area of expenses [is] really quite sian. I am basically their retirement plan,” she wrote. “Also, having to pay for their remaining HDB mortgage is the most annoying part, to be honest.”

She also mentioned that this was not the first time her mum had acted this way.

According to her, when she started her first full-time job, her mum pressured her to give a monthly allowance and warned that if she didn’t contribute, she might have to start paying rent.

Feeling backed into a corner, the woman gave in and now hands both her parents 5% each of her take-home pay, amounting to about S$500 every month.

Beyond the money issue, the woman confessed that she struggles to feel a sense of filial duty because of her difficult upbringing.

She explained, “I definitely did not enjoy growing up in this household. They could not provide me comfort in both monetary and emotional aspects. My dad is also quite literally contributing nothing. He has a low-paying job, and I have no idea where all his money is going. Also, I stopped receiving allowance after secondary school, so I basically self-funded myself through JC and university (had a full ride scholarship, so that helped a lot).”

Uncertain if she should hand over basically 40% of her salary to the household, she asked Redditors for advice.

“Those that still live with your parents, how much of the household expenses do you contribute? What should I do in this situation, and would like to know how others manage such situations as well.”

“I honestly think that you should help your mum shoulder some of the expenses.”

In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor commented that since her father wasn’t contributing to the household, she shouldn’t feel obliged to give him an allowance. 

“Don’t give your dad anything,” they wrote. “Use that money to pay off the HDB mortgage, TC charges, water and electricity bills, and wifi. As for the grocery, you can choose to buy it weekly with your mum and then you can keep whatever remaining.”

Another echoed this sentiment, writing, “The problem is your bum dad, she carried him so she ended up with no savings. Why don’t you confront him together and stop giving him money. He obviously is sneaking around, and it spells trouble. Give your mum money, you only have one parent.”

Meanwhile, others suggested that if she felt uncomfortable paying the household bills, she could move out and let her parents rent out her room for around S$750 a month. That way, they could use the extra income to cover their monthly expenses on top of the allowance she gives them.

One user also pointed out that she should try to be a bit more understanding of her mum’s situation, since she has been shouldering everything on her own for years.

“It is not fair to your mum that she’s taking it for the house while you live there subsidised,” they said. “I honestly think that you should help your mum shoulder some of the expenses since you are consuming them as well, not necessarily all. You should discuss with your mum and come up with what’s fair.”

In other news, a man was left shocked after he saw the housewarming wish list of an acquaintance, where the most affordable item was a 10-piece container set priced at S$112.99.

In a post on the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit, the man shared a photo of the list, which featured several pricey items, including a S$239 microwave inverter, a stainless steel cookware costing nearly S$768, and a floor-cleaning robot worth S$1,499.

Read more: From S$112.99 to S$3k: Man shocked by acquaintance’s ‘extravagant’ housewarming gift list