Letter to the Editor | Couples today give up on each other too easily & quit too soon, divorce isn’t always the answer

Dear Editor,

I refer to the article: Woman asks if she should stay in her unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids.

It was with a heavy heart that I read about this woman’s dilemma — whether to stay or to get a divorce.

I’m no stranger to marital conflicts, having been married for 37 years, being a father to adult sons and daughters, and also being a grandfather.

Here are my two cents:

Most of the responses from the netizens strike me as overly simple and superficial. I also think these answers reflect too much of their own experience and bias.

When people say the answer is right in front of you, divorce will be best for your children, or you’ll be happier to leave — This might be right for you, but not necessarily for everyone.

Today, couples give up too easily and quit too soon.

We live in an ‘instant’ society that wants a quick fix, having everything immediately. We pursue happiness at all costs. We don’t stop to think that perhaps some pain and suffering add value to life.

Divorce isn’t always the answer.

I’m not saying no to divorce, ever. There are valid and good reasons for divorce, like physical violence and adultery. But even then, couples could still choose to work things out.

I’ve learned that the two legs every marriage stands on are Commitment and Communication. If both parties are committed to each other, and they are willing to sit down and talk, nothing is irreversible or irreparable.

If a man has only one leg, he needs a crutch. If he has no legs, he needs a wheelchair. If he has both legs, he can walk, run and jump. Each couple must figure out how many legs they both have.

Cheers.

Lawrence Seow

Woman asks if she should stay in her unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids