SINGAPORE: A man who appears to have given up on finding a good partner in Singapore recently asked on social media, ‘Is it okay if we choose to be single forever in Singapore?’
Posting on Reddit’s Ask Singapore forum on Saturday (Feb 22), the man shared that he’s approaching 30 this year and has never been in a relationship. He also realized that finding a romantic partner will only get more challenging as he ages.
So, rather than stressing over dating, dealing with rejection, or trying to meet societal expectations of marriage and family, he has decided to embrace lifelong singlehood.
“I have somewhat decided to become single forever,” he said. “I feel that I might not always be able to compromise in the relationship. Also, I don’t think I can handle the additional responsibilities and commitments in the relationship.”
However, despite his firm stance on staying single, he confessed that there are moments of doubt. Seeing happy couples with young children in public occasionally makes him wonder what it would be like to have that kind of life. He also worries about whether he might regret his decision later on when he grows older.
“In Singapore, I feel that getting married and having children is highly preferred by most people. So, I sometimes feel like I am an odd one out by choosing to be single forever,” he wrote. “Also, my family members and relatives try to scare me by saying things like: I will feel lonely when I grow old, I need a companion in life, etc.”
“Singlehood can have lots of fulfilment and benefits too…”
In the discussion thread, many reassured him there was nothing wrong with choosing to stay single. Several users pointed out that marriage and relationships are not for everyone and that personal happiness should take priority over societal expectations.
One user said, “Everyone can choose the lifestyle they want, whether it’s single, married, or with 20 cats. As long as we are content with our choices, that’s really all that matters.”
Another told him, “Your life, your choice. Don’t live by society’s standards.”
Others also explained to him that the happy family or couples he sees in public aren’t necessarily always having the best time of their lives. Behind closed doors, they, too, have to deal with their own struggles.
One user shared, “Hi friend. 47, with two beautiful children and a wife I hate 60-75% of the time. The picture you see with the happy family is just what you see in public. The sacrifice you will make to be married with kids is beyond anything you’ve ever known.”
Another commented, “Having someone, being married doesn’t mean you’ll have a perfect life or never be lonely. It’s not all a bed of roses. In fact, more responsibilities. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Singlehood can have lots of fulfilment and benefits too.”
The reality of singlehood
Being single for life is a path that many of us are hesitant to take, often due to societal warnings like, “You’ll end up lonely,” or “No one will take care of you.”
From a scientific perspective, staying single can also have some negative effects on your mental health. According to Charlie Health, a US-based company that provides personalised mental health treatment for adolescents and families, people who remain single for life may struggle with certain challenges. They might find it harder to develop social skills, feel lonelier, have lower self-esteem, and experience more social anxiety.
That said, there are always two sides to the story. Just like being married has its ups and downs, being single comes with its own set of pros and cons. Bonnie Scott, a therapist and founder of Mindful Kindness Counseling, told Business Insider that single people benefit from having more independence and freedom.
They can pursue careers, hobbies, and personal growth without making sacrifices for a significant other, allowing them to focus entirely on their own aspirations.
Furthermore, being single does not necessarily mean being lonely. Many single individuals cultivate deep friendships, engage in strong family relationships, and build fulfilling social lives through their communities.
At the end of the day, whether you choose to stay single or be in a relationship is completely up to you. While society might push the idea that marriage is the ultimate goal, singlehood can be just as rewarding—if not more—depending on how you embrace it.
Read also: Maid’s employer asks, ‘Can I tell my helper to stop singing around my family?’
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)