SINGAPORE: Tired of being the sole breadwinner of the family, a husband took to an online forum to seek advice on how he could possibly get his working wife to contribute to household expenses.
Posting on the r/SingaporeRaw Reddit forum on Thursday (March 27), the husband revealed that his wife “doesn’t want to contribute” to the mortgage and refuses to pay for utilities or any other expenses.
“I pay for about everything that’s needed in the household. She only buys groceries once in a while. She’s working and earning a good income,” he said. He also shared that it had been decided before that she would pay a certain part of the mortgage, but it had never happened.
“I am tired of being the one who has to support everything even though we don’t have kids at this time. How should I handle this?”
The man also shared that he’s worried about the future since their current setup isn’t sustainable. “I have zero savings and a huge credit card debt that I am also paying every month. How do I make my wife contribute? This question is for guys.”
“If she really loves and cares for you, she would pull more weight into the practical aspects of marriage.”
In the discussion thread, one Singaporean Redditor suggested, “Get her to contribute a fixed amount into a newly created joint account for monthly family expenses at an agreed date every month. The percentage for each contribution can be based proportionally on your income.”
Another commented, “Quit your job and stop paying for everything immediately.”
A few, however, said that the man should have had this conversation with his wife even before their marriage.
Still, one Redditor reassured him that it was not too late to address the issue and advised the man to have an open and honest discussion with his wife. He wrote, “Have an honest conversation about the unfairness you face – especially with the imbalance you feel in the marriage. If she really loves and cares for you, she would pull more weight into the practical aspects of marriage.”
Sharing the financial load in marriage
Counselling psychologist Rachana Awatramani suggests that husbands who are handling all the financial responsibilities on their own should have an open and honest conversation with their wives. A lot of men feel the pressure to provide but keep their struggles to themselves, which can take a serious toll on their well-being. Instead of bottling it up, she encourages them to talk things through and figure out a better balance together.
In an article by Times of India, she shared, “Express how you feel about the entire situation and also how stressful it is getting for you to handle everything alone. You can ask her to show support and you can also think of operating from a joint account. You can also talk about saving money in that account which can be a security for both you in future.”
Read also: ‘Entry-level jobs are disappearing — what can younger Singaporeans do to stay competitive?’ Man asks
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)