EC centre worker says ‘distasteful’ comments from ‘entitled parents’ are taking a toll on their mental health

SINGAPORE: A local Redditor who works in a public early childhood (EC) centre asked for advice on how to not be affected at work. Although they love children, what they find the hardest is being at the receiving end of “condescending and distasteful remarks” from “horribly entitled” parents.

In a July 22 (Tuesday) post on r/askSingapore, u/strugglingsince99 wrote, ”the worst comments I heard in my career come from these parents,” and added that the stress from these comments has taken a toll on their mental health and well-being.

“I’m thinking of resigning. I’m burnt out. I have drafted out my resignation email and filled up the form,” they wrote, although they can’t resign at the moment for financial reasons. For the sake of their mental health, however, they are tempted to do so in spite of the state of their finances.

“I feel like a loser being so affected by what happened at work,” u/strugglingsince99 also wrote, adding that their salary isn’t very high, and the stress they feel isn’t worth putting themselves through.

The post author also wrote that they used to go to therapy, but since it costs S$180 per session, they can’t afford it.

“Please share how I can care less… I feel miserable and like a joke that I work to pay my therapy fees,” they added.

When a commenter suggested that they could try transferring to another public early childhood centre, the post author wrote that there are likely to be unkind parents at whichever centre they transfer to. They are now considering moving to the corporate world and leaving the early childhood sector for good.

“I know in corporate, there may be demanding bosses and challenging clients. But I’m burnt out dealing with these parents for now and an unsupportive management that throws us to deal with all these,” they added.

Other commenters then suggested that the post author move to a centre with a more supportive management.

Some noted that workers in the post author’s sector are indeed paid too little and said that this needs to change. A number of Reddit users praised early childhood sector workers and thanked the post author for the work that they do.

”Thank you for doing the job that you do! I think it’s often thankless and involves a lot of sacrifice. There are parents out there who recognise that and appreciate it!” one wrote.

“I send my child to playgroup, so I truly respect the teachers who are taking care of her. I always feel that it takes a village to raise children, so hopefully SG Govt can do more for these early childhood teachers,” another opined.

A Reddit user who also had experience in dealing with difficult parents in the sector wrote, “I’m not saying you should grit it out; in fact, I support you leaving if that is what will help you. Before you quit, try applying for other roles outside of EC to see if you’re able to land any interviews. Otherwise, quit, take a short break, and maybe apply for centres that promise a small student:teacher ratio. The pay may be less, but hopefully it’ll improve your mental health.

“The centre leader plays a big role as well. I felt very embarrassed to speak to my principal about what I was going through, but she’s someone I’ve worked with for many years, so I did open up to her, and she became more understanding of the decline in my work performance, because she knew it wasn’t like me. If your centre leader prioritises parents and always takes their side, I think the decision to leave will be easier.”

Another had this advice to give:

1. What you feel is valid and not something to be dismissed 
2. Hiring is still robust in the childcare industry. Taking a few months off work to recover is important (hopefully you can afford it); suffering long-term in a traumatic environment is not worth the cost. In the meantime, there are lower-stress non-customer-facing part-time roles you can take if money is tight.
3. I don’t think any amount of therapy can cancel out the toxicity you face from awful parents.

Alternatively, you have to tune out the negative parents. If you know you’re doing the right thing, your Principal should step in and draw the boundaries between you and the Parents. If the Principal is not supportive, better leave. /TISG

Read also: Singapore to boost early childhood care with 40,000 new facilities by 2029