SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man with a newborn turned to an online forum on Saturday (Jan 18) to ask for help finding a legitimate excuse to miss reuniting with relatives over the Chinese New Year. “We’ve just had a little girl 3 months + ago. Besides my side, we do not have much family in SG; we are tired of a newborn and a new job, and we don’t see the point in visiting relatives I don’t speak to, although my parents are adamant. It will be extremely draining for us, and we will barely sleep. Travelling is out of the question because the newborn is too young.”
The Singaporean, married to his PR wife, felt “a bit of a banana” because he has no grandparents and his family is unfamiliar with Chinese traditions. “But we do visit at least every year,” he wrote.
He then turned to online users for advice, asking if there was a way to beg off the celebrations nicely. “(Maybe) I can use my wife and Chinese traditions as an excuse (she is a PRC) if there are any.”
“I decided not to visit this year, but I want to gently refuse and let my parents down. I’ve explained our situation countless times, but they are not listening, making us feel guilty. Would any of you have advice? Thanks in advance!”
In response to the post, many discouraged him from using his wife as an excuse, but rather to explain their situation with having a newborn. “Use the kid as the excuse. Not the wife,” said one.
“Just say it’s difficult to go out with the baby,” another shared. “Plus, truly… a baby can be difficult after a day trip. You notice people wearing masks these days. Ah… also keep baby safe.”
Others suggested using reasons such as the flu or a bad appetite as an excuse. “Say your newborn just recovered from the flu / bad appetite lately. She’s very frail and clingy to her parents. Hence, both parents need to stay home to take care of her,” another suggested, “instead, invite them to visit you if they want to (for show only), but most will usually be lazy and will not come.”
Read related: Singaporean dreads upcoming CNY family gathering because her relatives will once again “age shame” her