30-year-old Singaporean man hits rock bottom, asks for ‘harsh’ advice

SINGAPORE: A man took to Reddit to ask for “harsh advice” after saying that he has reached rock bottom in life. In a Thursday (Sept 25) post, u/More-Slip573 assured others that he is in therapy, but wanted to hear from others anyway.

Perhaps at the heart of his problems is that he has done well all his life, and is now earning in the mid-4 digits in a corporate job.

“On the outside, I’m a well put-together individual who is confident and respected by peers. But on the inside, my life has been filled with sins, temptations, and addictions. In my mid twenties, I drank to my heart’s content, on several occasions, I ended up drunk till the police got involved,” he wrote.

He has been unfaithful to his girlfriend and has lost a lot of money through gambling. He also had a poor relationship with his parents, being resentful of the trauma they had given him as he grew up.

Unbeknownst to his employer, he had to take two weeks’ leave to serve a prison sentence “for something I did when I was drunk”.

“Now that I am only x years in, it is difficult to change jobs because I risk being asked if I have a record, and my current employer does not know. You know how Singapore views the ex-convicts. It’s a story for another time, but it was surreal being in confinement with hardcore gangsters,” he added.

He has since broken off with his girlfriend, desiring to fix himself first; he has stopped gambling, reduced drinking, and is trying to treat his parents better.

“If you ask me how I feel, I feel ‘dirty’, as if covered in black crude oil, and showering couldn’t cleanse me. I fully acknowledge that all of us are my doing, and I hope to repent, man to man. I humbly hope you can give me some real advice. I bow in grace. Please and thank you,” the post author wrote.

Many of the commenters were kind, commending him for recognising where he’s gone wrong and encouraging him not to be too hard on himself.

“Honestly, after writing all these, I think you already have a clearer picture of how you want your life to be. You are aware you effed up in life, but there’s no need to punish yourself that harshly. Seek people that impart wisdom and a positive vibe is what I recommend,” wrote one.

“Don’t punish yourself too much. Lots of this sounds like the usual stupid mistakes we make in our 20s. You’re on the right path with this amount of reflection and want to develop. I suggest writing a letter to yourself about where you want to be in a years time. Be realistic,” another added.

“You have been a selfish person who took advantage of a good start in life to feed your own desires. Turn this on its head and begin working and giving to others instead. Be the good person that you feel your ex, your parents, and even your employer deserve, instead of thinking about what you want. Expect nothing in return now. Your confession is already half the journey. Keep it up. You are still capable of good. There’s your harsh advice. Hope it helps,” a Reddit user commented. /TISG

Read also: S’porean who took a long break from work now feels insecure about their skills and fears making another wrong move, seeks advice