‘Helping is one thing, going into debt is another’: Reddit weighs in on parents asking children for loans

SINGAPORE: It is okay for children to take care of their parents, especially for all that they’ve done for them through the years. However, a netizen was curious to know if it is normal for children to go beyond their means and go into debt to satisfy the needs of their parents.

On Reddit, a Singaporean asked if it is normal for parents to ask their children to get a loan to help them clear off their credit card, or when parents want to buy something expensive and then ask to use their children’s credit card for instalments. More so, some parents want their kid to buy a car for them. 

“They promise to pay, but within a few months excuses start coming in, and then they drop all pretence and say your salary has increased, you should pay,” the Singaporean claimed.

With this, many shared their thoughts and opinions. One claimed that it is not normal, and this might be considered financial abuse. Others remarked that it sounded like a red flag. 

“Nope. You just give them a fixed allowance in whatever amount you are comfortable with… Anything else asks them to go find their own $$ or work part time… If they get hysterical or quarrel with you over this, just move out and stay elsewhere for peace of mind,” a netizen declared. 

Another commenter remarked: “No, parents like this are just taking advantage of their children’s filial piety. The more you give, the more they think you have the money to give them, and they become even more shameless asking for more money.” 

One more netizen stated that setting healthy boundaries to protect oneself is not being unfilial. 

“Helping your parents when you can is normal. Being expected to go into debt for them isn’t. If someone else’s spending puts your financial future at risk, that’s not support, it’s shifting the burden,” a comment concluded. 

Overall, while caring for parents is widely seen as part of filial responsibility, many people may feel the pressure to take on debt, and there is a line that should be drawn. Some pointed out that supporting one’s parents should never come at the cost of the children’s financial stability, and setting boundaries is not disrespect, but a step towards a better financial future.