SINGAPORE: Unable to talk sense into her mum, who mistreats their newly-hired helper, a woman took to social media to ask for help and advice. “I feel my mum is too harsh on our helper,” the woman wrote on r/askSingapore.
“Since the helper arrived, my mum has been picking on every small thing she does. Like using of phone, the amount of food she eats, the amount of time she sleeps, the way she does work.”
She also explained that they originally hired the helper to care for her grandmother, who needed help with daily tasks like using the toilet, showering, changing diapers, and eating.
However, beyond the essential caregiving duties, her mum also made the helper clean all the windows three times a week, do laundry, cook, and fetch water and tissues, which the woman felt was excessive.
“Honestly, I feel she can do these because she’s anyway not working.”
Moreover, her mum also expected their helper to wake up at 5 am everyday, arguing that the helper had sufficient rest after putting her grandmother to sleep by 9-9:30 pm.
“When the helper wakes up at 6am my mum will scold her,” she said.
“I’ve spoke to my mum about this sooo many times and we get into arguments she won’t be happy at all and say i shouldn’t “give face” to the helper.”
“At the end of the day, the helper is human just like us. Imagine having to work far away from your family and taking care of a stranger, she also needs rest and enjoyment too. I don’t know what to do anymore. any suggestions?”
“She thinks your domestic helper is a slave, not a helper.”
The Singaporean Redditors criticized the mum for not treating their helper as a human, calling her an ‘abuser,’ the ‘worst kind of employer,’ and ‘a person who thinks she’s a slave-owner.’
One Redditor commented:
“She thinks your domestic helper is a slave not a helper. She sounds exactly like one of those nightmare Singaporean employers you read on the news who think they own their domestic helper and regard them as slaves.”
Another said, “Sorry to say, but your mum’s character sounds like a boss from those SME horror stories. Pay some money, expect their worker to work like a slave and be on standby 24/7.”
Others pointed out that her mum might have violated the contract if their helper had been hired to care for her grandmother.
One Redditor mentioned:
“If your helper is one of those specially trained and brought in by the agency/government approved to care solely for the elderly, it’s a breach of contract to get her to do any house work that is not associated with the care of said elderly.
I have an elderly care helper in my house and she only does things for my grandma. All chores are limited to the room my grandma stays at and like washing my grandma’s clothes and her own clothes. Similarly for cooking.”
Several Redditors also offered practical advice on addressing her mum’s behaviour towards their helper.
They suggested that she converse with her mum about the potential financial implications of rehiring a new helper if the current one becomes unhappy or decides to leave.
One Redditor said, “Ask her to think about agency fees, insurance fees and loan placement for the helper. Not advantageous to you if these fixed costs are to be paid again in another six months.”
Additionally, they suggested taking proactive steps to support the helper and reduce her workload. For example, offering to help with tasks like fetching items when her mum asks could lighten the helper’s responsibilities.
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