SINGAPORE: A supervisor who discovered he had feelings for his junior only wanted to take the relationship further after finding out she started a relationship with another guy. The woman eventually decided to marry the other guy leaving said supervisor with a huge case of buyer’s remorse.
In an anonymous post to confessions page SGWhispers on Facebook, the supervisor wrote that he hired the woman two years ago to work directly under him. “I later developed a crush on her and when we discovered that the feeling was mutual we ended up getting together. Because she reports to me directly, our relationship could not see the day of light. We ended up spending most of our time together at her place or mine. The problem was, I saw what we had as a “relationship” but she saw it as simply an “affair” or “fwb””.
Shortly after, he found out that she started “a real relationship with someone else”. While he felt cheated, she said that she did not know he was ever serious about her as he never made plans for her to work elsewhere, never asked her to formally be in a relationship with him or even told her about his feelings. “The thing is, I was very happy and comfortable with the state of our relationship. And she never once mentioned she needed more. I genuinely thought she was happy! We spent a lot of time together and we would talk endlessly over the phone (when we couldn’t be physically together, because we live apart)”, he wrote.
He added that because he did not want “to “lose” to the other guy” he tried to immediately start a relationship with his junior. “But it was all too little too late for her. Throughout, I felt immensely inadequate. When I finally told her the words “I love you”, her response was “why now?”. Meanwhile, I tried to make her see how the guy she is with, is no where near as good as me. And the truth is, he isn’t”, the man wrote.
He felt that because she wanted to be with someone he considered “far worse”, his ego took a huge blow. Through all of this, he wrote that the woman decided to be with the other man, with plans of marriage in the cards for them. “he worst of all is how I still needed to work with her. I honestly could not stand the humiliation and to an extent the feeling of betrayal. I tried telling her to leave (I think she owes me at least that), which fell on deaf ears. Now I have resorted to actually doing things to make her leave (like not giving her the opportunities or promotion that she deserves)”, the supervisor wrote.
“Recently, she confronted me and asked if I was reprimanding her because she did not choose me. Honestly, I just wanted her to leave and find another job, because I needed the space to heal (which I have already told her, and which she refused to do). And even if I was reprimanding her, am I all that wrong? After all, no matter how I see it, I am the one who has been thoroughly wronged here and she is not the least apologetic about it”, the man wrote.
Netizens who commented on his post called him out for his behaviour and pointed out that he only wanted his junior after she got a boyfriend.
Here’s what they said:
Earlier this month, a woman who wanted to get to know a guy at work took to social media asking how she could get to know him because she was his boss’s boss’s boss.
This means that she was likely a top-level manager. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that she was curious about the man but added that their “positions at work make it difficult to get acquainted with each other”.
“To sum it short, I work for the parent organisation and though we are around the same age (I am ~3 years younger), I am basically his boss’ boss’ boss. So any form of personal contact is overstepping boundaries”, she wrote. She added that the man had her number saved but said that they do not speak. She did not save his phone number as she did not want to do anything that seemed suspicious. However, the woman said that she knew the guy saved her number.
In her post, she wrote that she met the man because the parent organisation she worked for goes to the smaller branches to do infrequent checks. She added that they would have interacted less than five times. “Not saying that I want to pursue a romantic relationship with this person immediately ( I don’t even know if he is attached), but I would love to get to know him better if given the chance as he seems like a very sweet and gentle person through our few interactions”, she said.
Asking netizens for advice, the woman wrote that she had known the man for about two years, and each time she meets him she would end up thinking about him for days.