SINGAPORE: A man recently took to social media to share a personal dilemma. He said his dad had refused to pay him back a large amount of money—$5,100—that he owed him. He said his father used the money to cover his sister’s nursing school tuition and expenses.
“I explained to him that it’s good of him to try to set my sister up for success by helping her out with expenses over these 2 years. However, it should now be at the detriment of another child,” the man wrote on Reddit on Saturday (March 9).
He also told his dad that “borrowing money and not returning it” is deceitful. He then said that he didn’t want to involve his mother or sister in their problem and simply wanted the money he worked for returned.
“He (father) did some guilt tripping and talked about how money is in my head too much (I found it ironic) in addition to how things were a struggle for him since he was paying essentially everything for my sister to the point where at work he’d have a small lunch,” the man said.
Nevertheless, his dad ended up promising to reimburse him in monthly installments.
“Now, will I get anything back? No idea. However, this “funding my sister’s lifestyle” saga is over as I made that clear to him. He helped build her life up. So, now he can leave me alone monetarily.”
“Why couldn’t she have taken out student loans? Grants? Scholarships?”
Many were upset with his father and sister, stating they could have sought financial help from institutions instead of relying on him.
One individual said, “Why couldn’t she have taken out student loans? Grants? Scholarships? This is not you or your parents’ burden to bear. Good for you for putting your foot down.”
Others also shared that they do not expect to be repaid quickly or at all when they lend money to family or friends. They just mentally consider the money as a gift rather than a loan.
One individual added, “In my experience, ‘loaning’ family money … usually ends with no return.
I was taught by my parents who have many relatives who always ‘borrowed’ money from them that if I loan money to family (especially) and perhaps friends, to never expect it back.
So consider it ‘gone forever.’ Why? Because if you expect it back, it will ruin your relationship with said person (either family member or friend).”
A few, meanwhile, urged the son to take back his money by all means.
One individual said, “Keep reminding him to pay. Don’t give up.”
In similar news, a late 20s NUS graduate who just received his degree took to social media earlier this year to share that his father wanted him to take over his car loan payments, which he had 0% ownership of, costing $3,200 a month.
“I told him to sell, but he refuses, as he wants to portray he has the “ability” in front of his friends,” the man wrote on the NUSWhispers Facebook page.
“When I didn’t nod my head to lend him money, he told his friends his child is so calculative now need help also don’t want to help him out.”
Read more: Father says his son is “calculative” for refusing to pay $3.2K/month for his car loan