SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to ask why parents often need to “shout” whenever they teach their kids something or assign them household tasks.
“I’m asking this because, growing up, shouting was often the method used, sometimes by both parents,” she wrote on r/askSingapore. “Now, it’s being used on my younger sister (9 years old), and it’s really frustrating.”
She explained that even when her little sister merely asked questions about her homework, her parents would respond with shouting or scolding.
This approach has prompted her to step in multiple times, attempting to explain to her parents that her sister is simply in the process of learning something new and naturally has a lot of questions.
“I even end up teaching her myself and she understands easily. I don’t understand why my parents resort to yelling when they’re trying to teach or give us daily tasks,” she said.
“I’ve tried explaining this to them, but I’m unsure if this is just how they were raised. I can’t keep stepping in every time,” she added.
Interestingly, she also discovered that her friends were disciplined in the same way by their parents when they were growing up.
“Why don’t they break this method? Shouting at your kids all the time isn’t helpful. Parents of Singapore, how do you discipline your child?” she closed her statement with this question.
“When you yourself become a parent of not only 1 or 2 children, you will understand why parents lose patience.”
In the comments section, a few Singaporean Redditors mentioned that, now that they’re older and working full-time, they can somewhat understand where their parents might be coming from, even though they disagree with their parenting style.
They explained that parents often start their day very early to care for their children, work 8 hours or more dealing with tough colleagues and bosses, and then come home to endless responsibilities like helping with homework and managing household chores. By then, they may have already been awake for 14 to 16 hours.
This gruelling routine made them realize why their parents sometimes had little patience and ended up shouting when disciplining them.
One Redditor added, “When you yourself become a parent of not only 1 or 2 children, you will understand why parents lose patience..
Can partly blame the high living standards of Singapore and how it’s important to become successful in this society..”
Another Redditor also speculated that teaching homework might have been tough for the woman’s parents since they might already have lost touch.
She added, “Frustration comes from not being able to explain things themselves and then taking it out on your sister. They can consider engaging a tutor to help be that buffer (I am not a tutor), or even pay you to help, that’s a win-win.”
Others pointed out that the woman’s parents might have been raised with the same kind of discipline, which is probably why they think it’s okay to use this approach.
One Redditor said, “Because your grandparents might have done the same thing, and probably your great-grandparents did the same thing too. All in all, you or we will be the last generation to end this cycle, hopefully.”
Still, some Redditors weren’t on board with the woman’s parents’ approach. They felt that even if parents are exhausted or were raised this way themselves, there are better ways to discipline kids than shouting and scaring them.
One Redditor commented, “I will definitely not raise my kids in a shouting environment. It’s unhealthy for everyone but creates a greater impact on a kid’s behavior and confidence.
For the parents, always communicate with your children. Encourage them to talk to you but not to talk back to you in a disrespectful way.
As for the children, some parents are still stuck in that era of not allowing their children to reason with them. Don’t be afraid to express yourself but always in a respectful manner.”
Read also: Praise for mother who hit her son for hitting a cat?
Featured image by Depositphotos