SINGAPORE: On Monday (Jul 27), a Singaporean took to Reddit to ask why some families in Singapore expect their helpers to be “24-7 super robots.”
In a post on the r/singapore forum, she said she had been horrified to see how some people around her treat their domestic helpers.
“I need to get this off my chest because the longer I’ve had a helper at home, the more horrified I am by how some people around us treat theirs.”
“We hire FDWs to help manage our households, but somehow a lot of families seem to think paying a basic salary buys them a 24/7 super-robot with zero human needs.”
She then went on to list what she described as some of the “wild expectations” these employers have of their helpers.
Two jobs rolled into one
One of her biggest frustrations was that many employers seemed to expect their domestic helper to do everything.
She said it was common for families to expect their helper to cook every meal, deep-clean the house, do the laundry, run errands, and at the same time take on the role of a full-time caregiver for young children. In her view, these are all demanding responsibilities on their own, yet many employers expect one person to juggle them all every single day.
“If she’s watching a toddler full-time, when exactly is she supposed to scrub the toilets?” she asked. “You wouldn’t expect a daycare teacher to clean the facility’s roof during nap time.”
Food gatekeeping
The woman also said the way some helpers are treated when it comes to food was one of the most upsetting things she had heard.
According to her, one colleague allegedly does not provide a proper food allowance or allow her helper to prepare her own meals.
“[My colleague] literally gives her helper the leftovers off her family’s plates. Like, eating 70-80% of a dish and passing the cold remains to her helper.”
She also claimed that other employers closely monitor the fridge and keep track of every egg, slice of bread, and other groceries.
“How do you look someone in the eye who cares for your home and treat them like that?” she asked.
The double standards
The woman also took aim at what she saw as glaring double standards over working hours.
She said some people complain endlessly about toxic workplaces and poor work-life balance, yet expect their helpers to work from 5:30 am until 11 pm every day without complaint.
“The same people who go on LinkedIn to rant about toxic work culture, lack of work-life balance, and staying 30 minutes late at the office turn around and expect their helper to work from 5:30 AM to 11:00 PM every single day. The moment she sits down for 10 minutes, she’s labelled ‘lazy.’”
She also criticised employers who install cameras throughout the home and constantly monitor their helpers, even using speakers to issue instructions remotely.
“If your boss put a camera over your desk and called you every time you checked your phone or took a toilet break, you’d HR-report them instantly. Why do people think this is okay at home?”
Poor living conditions
Finally, she raised concerns about helpers’ living arrangements.
According to her, her own helper had shared that some of her friends are allegedly made to sleep in bomb shelters with barely any ventilation or on thin mats in storerooms with no privacy.
“It’s heartbreaking,” she expressed. “And for what? The salary baseline here is already crazy low compared to places like Hong Kong or Taiwan, yet people act like they’re paying top dollar for elite concierge service.”
Ending her post, she wrote: “I’m not saying everyone is a bad employer. There are definitely great families out there, but the baseline standard for how helpers are treated here is pretty depressing, and the lack of basic empathy from otherwise ‘educated’ people is mind-boggling. Are your helpers seeing similar things among their friends? How do we as a society just normalise this?”
“Helper treatment continues to be my #1 culture shock”
In the comments, many users agreed that some employers in Singapore have gone too far. Several also shared real-life examples they had witnessed or heard about.
One wrote, “My helper has had to regularly cook extra food so that she can help feed another helper who works in our condo. This other helper’s employers just give her bread and canned food for meals.”
Another recounted a story they had heard from their mother’s helper about a friend who worked for a household of eight adults.
“The helper is tasked with doing all housework. It doesn’t sound bad till she says her friend was told she can’t use the washing machine. All 8 adults’ clothes have to be hand washed! End up, the poor friend lost weight, and hands started to itch and peel. Yet the agent refuses to let the helper change employers till 1 year later! I suspect the weight loss is too much for the agent and employer to ignore when it’s recorded during her 6-monthly health check.”
A third commenter claimed their neighbour’s helper endured harsh living and working conditions.
According to the user, the helper slept in a poorly ventilated bomb shelter, started working at 4 am, finished work around 11 pm, and was given very little food. They also alleged that when the family used the condominium pool, the helper was not even allowed to sit and had to stand in a corner waiting for instructions.
The commenter added that they often heard the helper being screamed at over trivial matters, particularly when the wife’s mother visited.
“I have been feeling pity for her; we have been secretly passing her packet food and money to help her. Funny thing is, (this) family, when outside, looks like those kind-hearted, warm, and caring people. You wouldn’t believe them to treat a helper this way.”
A fourth shared, “I’m an expat here from the west and helper treatment continues to be my #1 culture shock, even after years in SG. We hired a wonderful helper ahead of baby coming, and talking about it with local friends has made me see them differently.”
“One told me I’m ‘ruining the local market’ by giving her full weekends off, no curfew, private door, and 1-2 trips home a year. I have that time off from my own job; why shouldn’t she? I want to see my loved ones, and surely she does too! My spouse’s head of HR told him to take her passport. Our landlord’s agent asked me why she needed a regular-size bed and bed frame … because she deserves a real bed???”
Not everyone, however, agreed that such treatment is the norm.
One Redditor said, “We only hear about the horror stories because the news would never report on workers who are treated fairly. So it is hard to say what the norm is. All I can say is there are no horror stories in my neighbourhood. I know this because my worker is given free rein of all the food in the kitchen, including the fridge.”
“She eats the same thing our family eats. She can also cook whatever she wants. More important is the fact that she regularly chats with other workers in my neighbourhood. They also regularly swap dishes they have cooked, so I know they are a lively group with regular interaction. From what she has told me, all the workers that she know of are doing fine. She has not heard of any worker who is being abuse or mistreated.”/TISG
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