SINGAPORE: An employer shared on social media that her domestic helper had asked to use all 14 days of her annual leave in December to travel to Kuala Lumpur to visit her boyfriend, rather than returning to her home country as she had done in previous years.
“She has a boyfriend who is working in KL, so instead of taking 14 days of home leave, she wants to go to KL for 14 days in December. It is paid leave, and she still receives a full month’s salary even though she’s away for two weeks,” the employer wrote in her post in the Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic Helper Facebook group.
“And she even asked me to give her December’s salary in advance. I said no. Then she told me the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) doesn’t allow employers to hold salaries, but I told her I’ll pay her when she’s back in December.”
The employer added that this was not an isolated request. She claimed the helper had already made it clear that she intended to change how she would use her leave in the future.
“She said from next year she will save her leaves, and then every three months she will go overseas for one week instead of taking two days off every month,” she wrote. “I don’t know if I should allow that or just get a new helper who won’t give me this kind of problem. She has worked for me for two years and just renewed her contract in November.”
Beyond the leave issue, the employer also mentioned that she had growing concerns about the helper’s work performance. While acknowledging that the helper carried out her basic duties, she felt the overall standard was lacking and that the mental load still fell on her.
“Honestly, her work is so-so. I have to close one eye sometimes. She sends and fetches my kids from primary school, does the cooking, and keeps an eye on the kids until I finish work. But still, I feel like I’m doing all the worrying.”
Seeking advice, she asked the online group, “Should I allow this? Or should I just change to another helper? Thank you.”
“Tell her to go work in Malaysia.”
The post quickly drew attention online and sparked a flood of comments, with opinions sharply divided.
Some netizens were firmly on the employer’s side, urging her not to take risks by approving frequent overseas trips or paying salaries in advance.
One commenter wrote bluntly, “Change. Sooner or later, she will come back pregnant and you still need to send her away. Find someone who really comes to Singapore to work.”
Another warned, “SORRY BUT NO! Please don’t give advance, especially since she is not going home. When she is in KL, she may be tempted to find a job there to be with her boyfriend. They can change their mind about coming back without worrying about your circumstances, ESPECIALLY if she has her December pay in her pocket.”
A third said, “Keep only people who want to work. If people only want holidays, they should stay home and not need to come so far to work. Tell her to go work in Malaysia, then she can have her private life on every off day.”
Others, however, felt the employer should take a step back and look at the bigger picture, pointing out that the helper had already spent two years with the family and was simply using her entitled leave.
One person said, “Your helper has been with you for 2 years, so there’s loyalty and familiarity, which is valuable. For her December trip to KL, it’s reasonable to allow it since it’s her paid leave, but you don’t need to give her salary in advance—just pay her as usual when she returns. You don’t have to change helpers immediately, but keep expectations clear.”
In other news, a Singaporean woman has sparked an online discussion about emotional availability and long-term compatibility after sharing her doubts about whether her relationship with a 33-year-old man with a “dismissive-avoidant attachment style” can truly last.
In a post shared on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, the 29-year-old said she has always considered herself emotionally secure and initially believed her boyfriend’s avoidant tendencies were manageable.
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