Sezairi Sezali, a 35-year-old Malay Singaporean musician and songwriter, expressed how he overcame his conflicts with anxiety in the newest episode of Jean Danker’s podcast, ‘R U Okay?’
“Sometimes people can try to say nice things, but because you’re not in a right headspace, everything seemed bad” Sezairi said.
In this episode, the musician willingly shared his experiences as he struggled with anxiety and how he managed to seek help from therapists.
Sezairi mentioned that when he was doing Singapore Idol in 2009, he suffered a lot of anxiety and depression. It was so bad that his body reacted to it – he vomited every time he needed to go on stage and his throat dried up before singing.
“For the longest time I thought that was just like a physical thing,” the musician added, not knowing that it was a sign of his brewing anxiety back then. His anxiety was also followed by another illness, a stomach ulcer.
In order to make himself feel safe, the musician constantly hid behind his own mask and told people that he was okay, even though he was not.
“There’s this fear of people judging you for not being okay” he exclaimed.
Fortunately, it was Sezairi’s partner who encouraged him to visit a therapist, and it really helped him understand his feelings and thoughts. However, it was not easy for him to find the right therapist.
“I’ve talked to so many therapists. Not all of them are great but all of them have good intentions” he said.
More so, he mentioned that when he encountered people who were afraid to see a professional, he just showed them this meme:
He then explains that when the cupboard is opened, the plates are going to fall down and break. However, when not opened, these will remain pieces of mess inside the cupboard. He resonated this meme with his life – he would rather let the “plates” fall, crash and open up to his therapist than remain broken inside.
Sezairi declared that going to therapy has changed his life in so many ways, and how important it is to know the sureness of what’s happening inside one’s head to solidify one’s self.
This episode of R U Okay? is available on YouTube or meWATCH. Audio-podcast versions are also on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and meLISTEN.